It is in my opinion that he is someone who wants to be in control. Because he is the youngest in his family, hence he is farthest in the ladder of supremacy. he longs for avenues where he can be in control. Since he can't have it in his familiar avenues such as Familial and close friendly avenues, he's desperate for other avenues. Fortunately in his profession, he is a figure of authority. Hence, satisfying his ID of being someone in control. This is one more reason why he is more comfortable with people younger than him. Being the sole person who his older among the peers, he is in this seat of power among them. He is regarded as someone, further substantiating his need to be someone. Someone above them. Someone in control.
He is also very eager to prove himself. He lacks that self-worth in his life. That is why he is so desperate to always be the best. Since he is neglected in his family because he is outshined by his older brother, he strives to always to prove himself to everyone. He wants to prove that he is someone of substance, someone great, someone who is needed. Part of this reason is because he feels inferior to his educational attainment. He's insecure that being a graduate of Public institutions makes him inferior to those of his peers and other people who were able to have private education. Pummeling his self-worth deeper, hence making him more eager to have that sense of recognition with everyone especially to those who are directly under his control. But if you are already under his control. He would be very caring and considerate to your welfare. That is of course if you do what he wants. Which simply be a pawn to his own game.
He considers people who are superior to him as a threat. Since he longs to be in control and strives to be the best, any person better than him, or above him in hierarchy is regarded as an enemy. He either ignores them or rejects them in order to stabilize and substantiate the seat of power in which he is on. And he becomes overprotective of those people who are in his control. He will shield them to those who he considers a threat to his authority over them.
Hmmmp... Actually, ewan ko lang. I have this feeling ayaw nyang makilala ako ng mga students nya. Ferric Sulfate pentahydrate! I mean, pareho naming gustong magturo. Hindi ba mas ok kung tuturuan ko yung mga students nya ng mga subjects ko naman? Feeling ko the reason kaya nya ginagawa yun kasi ayaw niya mawala yung pag idolize nung mga bata sa kanya. Syempre, sino ba naman hindi maeexcite makakilala ng isang Chemical Engineer diba? Tapos kaya pang magturo ng multiple subjects. Mabibilib ka talaga kung high school ka palang. Naiintimidate sya in how great I am as a person and as a teacher. And it's idol material. Hence, I'm a threat to his seat of power and dominance over the students. Wala naman nakong maisip na iba pang reason about that kung hindi yun. Kung sasabihin nya na dahil bawal yun sa school, wag nya akong paikutin. Hindi ako tanga please.
Hmmmp... sa totoo lang, ngayon ko lang narerealize na he is not as intelligent as I regard him to be. Ngayon napag-isip isip ko na isa lang syang Guiness. Ayon sa paborito nyang libro na sinulat ng paborito nyang author na si Bob Ong, ang guiness ay yung mga taong pinupunan ng kasipagan ang kakulangan sa katalinuhan. Hindi sya katulad ko na isang well rounded na tinatawag na Anak ni Rizal.
Well, kahit ano namang pagprotekta ang gawin nya sa mga estudyante nya, marerealize nya na may iba dun ay mirror image ko. Kaming mga maswerte at napag-aral ng mga magulang namin sa private high school; Kaming mga kahit hindi laman ng library at hindi seryosong nag-aaral ay matataas pa din ang grades; Kaming kahit na nagdodota, at naglalaro ng kung anu anu pang computer games eh kayang sumagot sa recitation pag tinawag; Kaming mga pinanganak na may angking talino at hindi na kailangan pang patunayan yun sa iba. Kami ay tinatawag na mga Anak ni Rizal sabi ni Bob Ong. Kami na totally opposite nung nag-aaral pa sya.
Sinubukan ko naman ibaba yung level ko para maabot nya ako. Lagi kong sinusubukan na magmeet kami halfway. Pero there is only that level kung saan hanggang dun lang ang maibaba ko. Kasi kung pilit ko pang ibababa, madedegrade nako. I mean, mahirap atang itago ang shine ng star ano! Eh shining shimmering splendid ang stariray na dyosang ito! wahahahha!
Siguro narealize nya na hindi ako madaling makokontrol. Aside from that, matalino ako at magaling sa maraming bagay. He will always be an accessory pag itatabi sya saken pag nagkataon. Insecurity na talaga siguro nya yun. Wala akong magagawa kung ganun lagi ang thinking nya. Lagi ko naman yun nitry idissipate sa isip nya dati, kaya panindigan nalang natin. Basta wag lang nyang gagawin yung isang bagay na yun. Dahil pag ginawa nya ayun, magiging pro-active ako na ibagsak sya! Gagamitin ko lahat ng connections ko at dyosa powers para panagutin sya! Wala ni isa sa mga kaibigan nya ang makakaprotekta sa kanya!
I learned a lot from this experience. This will always be one interesting chapters of my life. That I can always say to myself that I loved one person till the end. =D