I'm in this familiar space again. This cramped world that I had been to countless of times. I know why I am here. I know the reason why I am here again. I have become complacent with the feelings I have with Prince Charming. This is now the time that I will bargain with myself if I will push through with my feelings or not.
I loved so many times before. I have been hurt the same number of times. Every scar in my heart is a proof of the way I love. But every time that I come to the point that I feel good about the relationship, external factors unknown to me always get in the way.
There is this thin wall of uncertainty that Prince Charming and I share. Every time we text, at the back of my mind there is always this nagging feeling that he doesn't have the same feelings for me. That this, yet again, is another make-believe. That is why my heart is doing its interlock so to speak. It's defensive measure after countless of times of being scarred.
I'm beginning to question everything again. Why does he text me? Why does he talk to me? Why is it that he asked me for help? Why is it that he sends mixed signals? Why does something that feel so good can be untrue? Why can't be together? Why do I feel that he is so distant? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?
I guess I'm just scared. I'll lose my mind if I will think about it too much.