I was busy making my slides for the workshop I was going to spearhead when a very peculiar headline from my Rappler news feed popped out.
I'm sure if you know me, you know by now that I dab into the legal stuff even though I'm an Engineer by profession. I immediately clicked the link and was directed to the article. At first, I was amused with the title; but that quickly dissipated when I read what the article was about. Albay representative Edcel Lagman filed the so called My Husband's Lover Bill.
"His proposed law seeks to provide wives and husbands the option to sue their partners who are committing same-sex adultery.
Dubbed as the "My Husband's Lover" bill, the measure seeks to broaden the definition of adultery under Article 333 of the Revised Penal Code to include same-sex extramarital affairs.
For discussion purposes, I will be speaking in the view of a gay man since it is the kind of homosexuality I am most familair with. But that doesn't mean what I'm saying does not apply to lesbians and bisexuals.
I understand Rep Lagman's ideals for equality. I understand it too well. But as much as I want to support this equality bill of his, I think there are things to be acknowledged first before we talk about this issue.
#1 Pass the Anti-discrimination Bill.
Fear of discrimination from society is the number one reason why gay men hide in the closet. They deny what they truly feel since it is not the norm. That is why they do great lengths to keep their real identity hidden, even going as far as marrying a woman so as not be disgraced from being a homosexual.
But even though these gay men are "happily" married, a certain aspect of their life is not fulfilled. That is why their homosexual tendencies haunt them. Until finally, they give in to temptation and have a secret love affair with one of their kumpares.
Point is, regardless if the relationship with the third party was just about sex or love, these men were gay from the start who forced themselves to not accept who they truly are because of fear of discrimination. That is the root of this problem, and it should be the one to be addressed. The My Husband's Lover Bill just cure the symptom but not really the cause. That is why the passing of the Anti-discrimination Bill is in order to lessen or even eradicate the fear of discrimination amongst the LGBT ranks. Thereby, lowering the cases of closetted gay men marrying females.
#2 Acknowledgement that Same-sex relationships are legitimate. Allow Same sex marriages.
We were told when we were kids that having a family of your own is one of the greatest joys of life. Guess what? It's true! That is why the Philippine government should allow same sex marriage so that homosexual couples can have the same rights as hetero couples. The right to create a family and kinship will be awarded to the homosexual couple. There is no need to create a fake normal family just to be happy.
#3 Empower the spouses. Pass a Divorce Law.
After finding out that your husband is gay who has a relationship with his bestfriend (whoa! My Husband's Lover's plot!) and there's this law that will punish them, what are you going to do? Of course, you file a law suit against them. Then after winning the case what's next? You live with your husband again with the hope that you continue your married life and live happily ever after? Duh! The legal wife's only legal remedy is legal separation to avoid that awkward scenario. But then again, this is the case with heterosexual couples too when the husband keeps a concubine. Though with the heterosexual couple, there is a chance to salvage the marriage since they can still be attracted to one another, but it's not the same with the earlier case. A fully enlightened gay man will never sleep with a woman. EVER AGAIN.
#4 Complicated scenarios
Before I go and give my approval to this, I want the lawmakers to answer how they are going to handle these situations.
The Husband is Bisexual.
Since teh husband is bisexual, he has two sexual needs. One for a woman, and one for a man. And we all know that sexual satisfaction is a need. How can this case be handled then?
The Husband and Wife conspired to extract money from the third party but that didn't go as planned.
Suppose that the wife knows that her husband is a boytoy of a rich third party gay man, but she connived with her husband so that they can profit from this gay man. But eventually her husband truly fell in love with the rich gay man and left his wife. Then the wife filed a case, how will this be treated? After all, with her conniving with her husband initially, she gave her blessing with the relationship.
Again, I am all for the equal protection of rights. But there are things that needs to be addressed first before we homosexuals are put into bad light as home wreckers.