Thank you girls - girls or semi-girls who joined a beauty contest but ultimately lost. They are with no consolation prize except for the words "Thank you Girls!"
My spaceship flew one overpass away from the venue. I rented a computer pod from my
suking Online Cafe owned by one of my batchmate's aunt. The usual formalities were not met, as I was required to present papers to be eligible for the crown. Maybe the organizers forgot to mention it in the auditions, I don't know. I had my papers printed in their special printing machine then swooped my crowning papers called eligibility and flew back to the pageant stage.
I entered the stage with poise. There was no need to call my title: "
Candidate number 1! Ms. Dyosa Inhinyera!" as I arrived earlier than the esteemed interspace judges. When they finally arrived, after 1-2 hours or so of time compression from their watches, they all sat to the projection table opposite my direction. The esteemed judges, looked at the scanned projection of my crowning papers in their special looking lens complete with a very special screen.
After five liters of gasoline from the unnecessary trip to the space hub across the venue planet; After the wasted grain of the sand from the nearby sand timer; After holding on the the plastered smile on my face; At long last, the panel Q&A finally began!
I was answering a barrage of questions from the panel when one more member of the esteemed interspace judges arrived then began puking out questions for me. Evidently a question from the Chairman of the panel, a film of agitation covered my whole being. It was a very vague question in my point of view. A vague question indeed. But as a proud pageant candidate, I answered with confidence and grace. I but I would admit that it was not an honest answer. I said, "
I want to have an intergalactic peace that not only enjoyed by those in the upper strata of the space system, but also those living in the asteroids and meteor sites.", as to my real answer of, "
I want to take all the terrorist and send them straight to dimension X so that they can't harm everyone." Totally un-"Pageant"-like. Duh!
One confident hair fling, I then turned to the other members of our esteemed interspace panel of judges. I answered one of the questions as to what I would do if in case I would not win. With a stroke of humility and kindness, I expressed my intention to continue my life course action which is to improve myself in the aspects of both educational and managerial. Also of course in terms of personal with my family and friends. Maybe the advanced microphone attached to my throat hat technical problems but they weren't able to commensurate at wave the thing sthat I said regarding my answer. I just smiled and gracefully repeated my answer, but in truth I was menstruating piles of rock cold sweat in my fabulous purple number.
Answering queries from other members of the esteemed interspace panel of judges, was enough for the Chairman to think about another question.
"If you are the master of an Obstacle course, and let say most of the people could not pass the 1st hurdle in the course, what would you do? Would you let them be as is to fall back again to the 1st course or would you let them pass?". This is an easy question. I had this conversation with my peers back home.
"If I were an obstacle master, and most people find it to pass through my 1st course, I would coach them in what to to and improve so that they can pass the course. If some people can pass it, of course they can too. But after all my coaches and they still fail to do it. I have no choice but to leave them as is. If they can't hurdle the 1st one, I am sure that they can't hurdle the next because what you learn in the 1st course, I am very sure, that you will use it in the next courses."
The Chairman threw another very vague question on my
gandalicious face. "
If you won as Ms. Intergalactica, and I require you to get certification from your local solar system that you are indeed a disciple of your faith as you'd said, would you be able to?" Wow! That was unexpected. Totally fifty gazillion light years away, even farther than the zeroes of a google number can reach, from the questions that I assumed to be coming my way. With still that fake smile pasted on my face, I regained my composure and answered a very short:
"Yes.", quite unsure, really.
"You've prepared something for us, right", said the Chairman. I nodded with the very ecstatic "yes!". It's the talent portion!
*Author's Note: Please play this clip for added reading effect!*
TIME SPACE WARP! NGAYON DIN!
On cue, we warped into a different dimension. When the transfer of my protons, neutrons, and electrons as well as that of my mesons and leptons were over and the handful of quarks arrived in their original positions, I was confounded to find myself in a timeloop by the end of the 19th century! HOMAYGASH! But that didn't matter, my talent is to teach and develop. No matter what time generation I'm in I can teach my subject matter whenever, wherever!
I started with the peace that I prepared. I slaved to make this peace an original and completely my own. But before I even began with my opening enticing sentences, there was a query from one of my "students".
"What is love?", the male student asked. Ehem. I'm not sure I am an expert on this but it is a valid question for discussion. I tried answering on the regularly known principles about the topic. "
I want a theoretical answer!", said another male student. Hmmmp... In this case, seems I don't particularly know the answer that they want. With humility, I said that I would research on it and get back to them. With that I tried to return to the original topic that I prepared.
"No! I won't be able to sleep if don't answer it!", [Insert laugh crowd SFX here], the same male student squealed. With that the male students debated with each other, each giving out points to the earlier question as if it meant their lives to answer it. The bombardment of laughing crowd SFX wailing as the boys continue their search for the mystical answer for the question.
There was something familiar with this laughing crowd SFX. I dropped my jaw to one particular conclusion. HOMAYGASH!!!! I'm on the set of FRIENDS! The 1st boy who asked was Chandler, the squealing boy was Joey, and the one who gives positive arguments is Ross. Then we have two silent girls I recognize to be Rachel and Phoebe. Oh! That guy is Wil! Rachel's boyfriend from season whatever! HOMAYGASH!!!! Why the hell is Phoebe so silent? Isn't she suppose to be the noisiest?
I tried to still answer the question presented earlier, but my thinking powers escaped me, probably caused by my dried throat and grumbling stomach. I was on the verge of cutting myself in half when Phoebe finally spoke.
"Class over!". We were immediately warped back to the pageant venue, and I was back in my purple number. With my fragmented confidence, I gathered every ounce of bravery to do my final beauty queen wave and final bow.
Swish! And my hair flew upwards as I pivoted to exit the stage. The Dyosa exited, stage left. After leaving the stage, I spotted the next candidate, Ms. ChE. I told her what I did and such, of course I spared her the agonizing details of my beautycon experience. I gave her words of encouragement and blessed her with goodluck with my dyosa powers.
"Thank you girl!, was the last thing she said before she proceeded to the stage.
There the road to my Professorial journey abruptly ended. Yep.
Nagdilang anghel siya. I am a certified
Thank you girl.
But of course I left Planet Pageant with my self-worth and my head held high. My spaceship flew by other planets destined to conquer the next civilization.
