Memories about an Angel

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I awoke with Bituin Escalante's voice singing in my ear. Her signature one-hit-wonder song, Kung Ako Nalang Sana, is part of the playlist in my cellphone. I was there at the right side of the bus facing the TV, perfectly comfortable with my 50-degree inclined back rest. My purple hoodie jacket protected me from the cold whiff of the aircon.The bus just passed by Mayon when I came to. Robin Padilla's daughter: on screen. We were nearing Blumentritt so I gave out a yawn then fixed my things. A quick turn by our driver at the corner and we were in the middle of the traffic in front of Chinese General Hospital's facade. Uninterested with the show in the TV, I nonchalantly turned to my right. I was perpendicular to the Emergency driveway of the hospital. It was then that images of my past appeared in front of me.

I was sitting on the caged veranda. He brought food for his sister-in-law and some supplies for his sick mother. I accompanied him that morning in the hospital because his mother was rushed there. He just got back from their Faculty retreat when he heard the news. I got a hold of him the morning after he arrived. I can tell the anxiousness of his texts that's why I offered to come with him.

After introducing me to his mother, I quietly sat down the veranda. I gave them space so they can properly talk since I know that he was very worried. That was the scenario until his sister-in-law came back.

I received a text from my friends asking where I am. They were then assembled at a place, I was instructed to join them. I replied with the situation and was asked to follow after my affair.

He approached me with a smile. His angelic face beaming. His anxious face now gone. He sat beside me and we began talking. I can't exactly remember the minute details of that conversation, but I am quite sure it was about our dreams. We were both teachers. He as a profession; Myself, at heart. We were conversing about how fulfilled we are to be teachers.

A light drizzle showered outside. Despite the cool wind that accompanied the tiny droplets, my heart was warm because I was with him. We were both happy talking. We could talk and talk forever. But eventually I had to leave. His sister-in-law will go home and he will be the one to replace her to take care of his mom. I happily obliged to go home since it is after all a family affair.

He thanked me for the company and walked me toward the exit of the hospital."

How long has it been? From what I can remember year 0 was the year that Harry Potter 7.2 was shown in cinemas. It was the year I forced myself to stand up again. The year I picked up the pieces of myself from the depths of depression. I won't fool myself and say that I already fully moved on. I can say there is always a part of me that is still broken. There are so many unanswered questions that only he can answer.

That broken part of me is only a tiny portion of my heart. I will keep moving on, until the day I finally be able to resolve the broken portion.

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Sentai Cutie: Yasuhiro Ishiwata

Nanunuood aketch ng Maskman nang biglang tumunog ang tugtog ng isang plawta...

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Isang lalaking nakashades mula malayo ang naglalakad papalapit...

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Sa kanya nagmumula ang tugtog ng plawta...

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patuloy sya sa pag tugtog at tinggal nya ang shades nya...

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Alam ko na sa simula palang kung sino sya... kaya nung dumating na ang climax...

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Eto ang tunay na katauhan nya...

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Sya ang Human form ni Guron Doggler...

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Pero gosh!!! Grabeh sa cute netong guest star ng Maskman ah! His name is Yasuhiro Ishiwata, nung nakita ko pa lang sya sa first scene na naclose up yung face nya, crush ko na sya!!! Wahahaahhah!

Sa episode na ito ng Maskman, nain-love si Gron Doggler sa isang babae na nagligtas sa kanya centuries ago. Nakipag deal sya kay Emperor Zeba na tatalunin nya ang mga Maskmen kung bibigyan nya sya ng kakayahan magkaron ng human body. Nang sumalakay na ang pwerse ng Underground Tube, nagbago ng ihip ng hangin nang masilayan ni Gron Doggler si Momoko (aka Pink Mask). Kamukhang kamukha kasi ni Momoko yung babaeng nagligtas kay Gron Doggler dati. At nagsimula na ang maikling love story ni Hikaru (human name ni Gron Doggler) at Momoko.

Inferness ha! Di ko inexpect na madaming flavors of scorned love ang Maskman ah! Akala ko kina Michael Joe at Rio lang ang dramang yun...


I did some research kay Cutie guest star... Apparently, member sya nung last installment ng sentai series prior to Maskman, ang Flashman. Sya si Blue Flash.
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Nagguest star din sya with Kanako Maeda (yung gumanap na Momoko) sa Jetman, at magkapartner sila ulet! Lovers on screen ang peg nila! whahhaha!

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Oh yeah!


Sexual Orientation

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"Sexual orientation is not determined by one's behavior. Sexual orientation is determined by one's desires."

I read that line somewhere in this vast universe called cyberspace. Whoever you are, I take my hat off to you. It is by far the most powerful statement that I have read about homosexuality.

People behave differently depending on their beliefs. Most of the closetted gays (or at least they try to be) I know tell me that they will change their ways. They will stop it the "transformation" from progressing as if they will clad sailor uniforms with elemental powers once its complete. The sad thing about their stop-the-metamorphosis litany is because they believe they will go to Hell is they don't change their ways or they are afraid they will be alone in the future.

haaaaay... Same old same old.

The thing is with my closetted friends is that they tend to worry about other people's point of view rather than their own; Also, worrying about a very negative future. I am not the most religious person around but one thing I learned from being a student of Catholic schools for 9 years, the central theme of the Holy Book is Love. Literal interpretation of what's written there is dangerous. Especially since those times of slavery and conquerors are long gone. Therefore, the norms and cultures are different from then and now. I can cite multiple things stated in the Bible that are now obsolete. But I will leave it to other articles in the blogosphere. Do your assignment and check those out. Also, though this is just my personal point of view, in the olden times, the males are easily regarded as the more superior gender. Hence, the Bible is written in this very masculine-centric viewpoint. Sodomy, i.e. Barebacking, is a form of punishment then because it lowers the level of those being sodomized as the aggressive inserter of the phallus to the helpless receiver of the phallus and they become a plaything just like how they view women those days. Now, doing a homosexual act among males is looked down upon because of the fact that it is now consensual. One male is willing to go down a notch down so that he can give pleasure to his lover. Isn't this sacrifice? Isn't this an expression of love. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that homosexual love is strictly about sex. But hell, that's what the Bible explicitly denounces. A man sharing a bed with another man just like he does his wife. Not a man loving another man.

Moving on, I just get frustrated when they tell me that the only future for gay men is a picture of loneliness. I beg to disagree. What is your basis for saying that I will grow up lonely? Sorry! Is your cheating husband and your dumb kids your picture of a happy life? Vocabulary lesson, the word gay means happy. Since the Filipinos have close-knit family ties, everyone is expected to turn out good. And when I they say good it means finish school, get a job, have kids and the cycle will go on. And that's their equation of happiness. If they continue this cycle, they will be happy. Well not for me.

I think the reason why my closetted friends believe the shit that they will be alone in the future because of the notion that no one will truly love a gay man. That's so two thousand late. We are in the day and age that gay men love other gay men. The idea that gay men will only love straight men is so out. Plus with the proliferation of Bisexuals... OHHOOOOH YEAH!!! *pun intended*

My advice to my friends, go ahead. Try it. Change your ways. Even if you totally remove the rainbow connection from your system, yet what you desire is love from other men. Well... You know what you really are; Best of luck on escaping your true self.