Recently, I haven't been cooking meals in my home in Bataan. It's not that I hate the clean up or anything. I wasn't really sure why though. But tonight, I read a manga that gave the me the reason why...

It's true that I love to cook. It's probably one of my skills that I can brag about. That's why it's really a wonder that I haven't been cooking at all. And I think the reason is...

I'm not cooking for someone...

Like the manga I read pointed out, cooking is different if your doing it for someone. Though I guess, there was no avenue in which I can make him eat what I cooked. But it's a fact that I do think about him when I cook. Well, I still am recovering from the "loss" of the love that was never there. How ironic to be sentimental to something that did not exist. It's sooooooooooooooooo RH Debate!

Anyhoo, I plan to cook some food for me soon. I miss that Sour Tomato recipe I used to make when I was still living in Cavite. The sweet-sour-salty flavor is a must in this rainy season. It's healthy too.

Puti
ni Wilter von Phar

Pumikit
ngunit sa halip na dilim ay puti.
Mga mata'y nakatanaw sa dibuhong lalaki.

Pumintig
nang ang liwanag ay humalik.
Mga labi'y sabik na sabik.

Huminga
nang walang kasing lalim na dagat
haplos at init sa liwanag ang ugat

Humangos
dahil pandaliang pantangi'y nawaglit.
Matapos mangalay at may puting sumirit.

Dahil Buwan ng Wika, sige gumawa tayo ng mga tulang Filipino! May inaalala akong tao sa tulang ito. Sya talaga nag buong dahilan kaya ko sinulat ito.

The day of the election is quick on its feet. With less than two (2) weeks away, the political climate here in my domicile is as filthy as the last trash slide in Smokey Mountain; and there is no sign that it will be cleaner anytime soon.

Power, Privilege, and Justice. It seems that most (if not all) the candidates in the local elections in my place of birth are after those three things. Well, these three things are not inherently evil. But these once used lavishly, carelessly, and selfishly, is a recipe for disaster and ruin. Just like what the two people running for the Mayoral Race in my lupang tinubuan. Evidently, a story of ruined friendship and relationship.

Joseph Ejercito Estrada and Alfredo Lim, former friends and political allies, now political enemies and rivals, are both running as the top man of our City. At first, I found it amusing that these two grown men are barking each other like wild lions marking their territory. But as I moved on to the initial shock and amusement, and these childish men are still at it, I exasperate that one of these bicker boys will seat as the leader of our city.

For the record, I will vote Mayor Lim. Though, we do have our strong difference of opinions on many matters such as: his selfish remark that Patriotism is dying in the Motherland because of the ROTC was made not compulsory for male college students; shutting down the Baywalk establiments since it provides high income for the City among other things. But we coincided on the long standing issue regarding the Oil Depots in Pandacan. If you would recall, he is very instrumental why the Oil Depots can still operate in Pandacan, because he signed the Ordinance that repealed an earlier local law that converts that particular area in Pandacan to a Mixed Commercial/Industrial Zone. Plus he vetoed succeeding ordinances that aims to remove the Oil Depots in their place.

This is a strong testament that the Depots are not going anywhere if Mayor Lim wins the seat for the third term. I would like to maintain that status quo. Though I know that it is just temporary since it will only last for three years. I'll just cross the bridge when the time is up.

Lately, I am flabbergasted with the news of throwing disqualification cases like a tennis rally. There are better things to do than watch and read fetal minded adults. I am much more irritated with the Estradas filing a disqualification case for Lim coupled with snarky uneducated comments. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! ala Sen. Miriam. In my point of view, it's just a juvenile attempt at intimidation. I mean, the man is a former Police General. C'mon! You need to do better than that! The man already ran against Estrada in the 1998 Presidential elections; he even won as Senator prior to becoming Manila Mayor again. kabobohan!

In other news, rivals in the position of Representative for the 1st district of Manila are my Godfathers. They are Ernesto "Erning" Dionisio and Ferdinand "Ding" Diaz, my Godfathers when I was baptized as a baby. Well, Ninong Dionisio formerly served as Councilman, and then was succeeded by my Godbrother Ernix Dionisio, a re-electionist. Ninong Dionisio already ran as Congressman prior to being a Councilor, but the position was far from his reach. Ninong Ding, on the other hand, is running for the second time for the same position. But when he 1st ran during the Presidential elections, he was not at all visible. Let us see if second time's the charm for him because I believe he has more machinery now.

I think I will abstain on this one.

For the councilors, I will not vote for any UNA candidates with exemption for my Godbrother Ernix Dionisio. I am positive that he did not vote to remove the Oil Depots in Pandacan. I am well aware that most of the UNA bets are PRO Oil Depot alis. The epitome of that is Atty Jong Isip who is running in the 3rd district is under the UNA ticket. Isip, the spokesperson of the authors of the Ordinance that converts that area of Pandacan to Mixed Commercial Zone, is enough reason why I can say for certain that most of the UNA bets would make moves to remove the Oil Depots.

Vice Mayor? Lou Veloso. I am saddened and disgusted how my former idol Vice Mayor Isko Moreno transformed to the power hungry insincere politician he is now. Though I don't have first hand experience on this, but being my father is also saddened by his experiences with this mud slinging, power tripping politician, he is off my list.

Today I learned that the President of the Manila Barangay Bureau and the President of the Sangguniang Kabataan are ex officio members of the City Council of Manila. What good does a less than 18 year old add to a room chalk full of adults? Haaaay Manila.

I love our city. I love our district. But the people in power should change for the betterment of our city's role to the society. I just hope that this coming election will be free from fraud. And may this be the first step for Manila's progress.

*sigh*

I exasperated a thousand sighs that night. I laid awake, covered by my new quilt, trying to fight the cold from inside and out of my body. Still thinking about you. If I should still give you a chance, or just let it go.

Honestly, I'm frustrated. I really want to give you a chance to tell me everything. But I don't have the opportunity and the right reason to openly address the concern to you. Aside from the obvious fact that we live in different work schedules, it will simply be too awkward to ask something that personal to you. I don't even know where I stand with you. Am I a friend? A partner in crime? or just a Colleague?

In case you didn't know, News Flash: I am in love with you. That's the reason why it kills me that you lied to me. It pains me that you didn't trust me with this. I think I would be the best person to be told of such things and I would be able to understand it completely without prejudice. But then again, you're probably scared and confused or you haven't completely understood yourself.

I shifted my gaze towards my blank pink wall. Image of your angelic face projects; smiling at me.

*sigh*

A thousand and one sighs.

I understand why you need to be strong. I fully understand why. But if you ask me, I'll help you. Remember when I told you that we are in this together? I hope you haven't forgotten about that. If you tell me, I'll protect you. If you want me to, I'll hold you tight and make sure that no person will hurt you. I will be strong for you. I will be strong for the two of us.

You don't need to be constantly be strong. I will share the burden with you. You don't need to be alone. I can accompany you.

*sigh*

I love you... You are always on my mind. Part of the storm in my Brain. I love you.

One whole day had passed since I found out about his lie.

He lied.

Yep.

But he still doesn't know that I know that he lied. He cannot deny it anymore. My instincts told me he is, the info I gathered second it, first hand evidences and analysis of events all adds up.

When he denied it, I doubted my ability to feel a person. I doubted my ability to read people's behavior. Hell. I doubted myself.

That's the reason why I felt enraged. He made me doubt myself. He may have not done it purposely but that's the end to his action. I was infuriated as well of the fact that when I thought I made a mistake, I felt guilty. And finding out that he in fact lied to me; that guilt was baseless.

But after spending a few hours wide awake, I thought I am being unfair to him. He probably puts up a brave face but in truth he is scared. He is probably confused too; Probably trying to be cautious of his next move.



That's why I think I should give him another chance. After all, he's a person that I loved. No. He is a person I am still in love with. Although this comes with an uncertainty, I don't know if he trust me enough to tell me the truth. Honestly I'm scared too. I will be broken if he lied to me again. But I will be brave. He deserves this chance, and at the very least, I gave him the chance to tell me everything...

Thank you girls - girls or semi-girls who joined a beauty contest but ultimately lost. They are with no consolation prize except for the words "Thank you Girls!"

My spaceship flew one overpass away from the venue. I rented a computer pod from my suking Online Cafe owned by one of my batchmate's aunt. The usual formalities were not met, as I was required to present papers to be eligible for the crown. Maybe the organizers forgot to mention it in the auditions, I don't know. I had my papers printed in their special printing machine then swooped my crowning papers called eligibility and flew back to the pageant stage.

I entered the stage with poise. There was no need to call my title: "Candidate number 1! Ms. Dyosa Inhinyera!" as I arrived earlier than the esteemed interspace judges. When they finally arrived, after 1-2 hours or so of time compression from their watches, they all sat to the projection table opposite my direction. The esteemed judges, looked at the scanned projection of my crowning papers in their special looking lens complete with a very special screen.

After five liters of gasoline from the unnecessary trip to the space hub across the venue planet; After the wasted grain of the sand from the nearby sand timer; After holding on the the plastered smile on my face; At long last, the panel Q&A finally began!

I was answering a barrage of questions from the panel when one more member of the esteemed interspace judges arrived then began puking out questions for me. Evidently a question from the Chairman of the panel, a film of agitation covered my whole being. It was a very vague question in my point of view. A vague question indeed. But as a proud pageant candidate, I answered with confidence and grace. I but I would admit that it was not an honest answer. I said, "I want to have an intergalactic peace that not only enjoyed by those in the upper strata of the space system, but also those living in the asteroids and meteor sites.", as to my real answer of, "I want to take all the terrorist and send them straight to dimension X so that they can't harm everyone." Totally un-"Pageant"-like. Duh!

One confident hair fling, I then turned to the other members of our esteemed interspace panel of judges. I answered one of the questions as to what I would do if in case I would not win. With a stroke of humility and kindness, I expressed my intention to continue my life course action which is to improve myself in the aspects of both educational and managerial. Also of course in terms of personal with my family and friends. Maybe the advanced microphone attached to my throat hat technical problems but they weren't able to commensurate at wave the thing sthat I said regarding my answer. I just smiled and gracefully repeated my answer, but in truth I was menstruating piles of rock cold sweat in my fabulous purple number.

Answering queries from other members of the esteemed interspace panel of judges, was enough for the Chairman to think about another question. "If you are the master of an Obstacle course, and let say most of the people could not pass the 1st hurdle in the course, what would you do? Would you let them be as is to fall back again to the 1st course or would you let them pass?". This is an easy question. I had this conversation with my peers back home. "If I were an obstacle master, and most people find it to pass through my 1st course, I would coach them in what to to and improve so that they can pass the course. If some people can pass it, of course they can too. But after all my coaches and they still fail to do it. I have no choice but to leave them as is. If they can't hurdle the 1st one, I am sure that they can't hurdle the next because what you learn in the 1st course, I am very sure, that you will use it in the next courses."

The Chairman threw another very vague question on my gandalicious face. "If you won as Ms. Intergalactica, and I require you to get certification from your local solar system that you are indeed a disciple of your faith as you'd said, would you be able to?" Wow! That was unexpected. Totally fifty gazillion light years away, even farther than the zeroes of a google number can reach, from the questions that I assumed to be coming my way. With still that fake smile pasted on my face, I regained my composure and answered a very short: "Yes.", quite unsure, really.

"You've prepared something for us, right", said the Chairman. I nodded with the very ecstatic "yes!". It's the talent portion!

*Author's Note: Please play this clip for added reading effect!*

TIME SPACE WARP! NGAYON DIN!

On cue, we warped into a different dimension. When the transfer of my protons, neutrons, and electrons as well as that of my mesons and leptons were over and the handful of quarks arrived in their original positions, I was confounded to find myself in a timeloop by the end of the 19th century! HOMAYGASH! But that didn't matter, my talent is to teach and develop. No matter what time generation I'm in I can teach my subject matter whenever, wherever!

I started with the peace that I prepared. I slaved to make this peace an original and completely my own. But before I even began with my opening enticing sentences, there was a query from one of my "students". "What is love?", the male student asked. Ehem. I'm not sure I am an expert on this but it is a valid question for discussion. I tried answering on the regularly known principles about the topic. "I want a theoretical answer!", said another male student. Hmmmp... In this case, seems I don't particularly know the answer that they want. With humility, I said that I would research on it and get back to them. With that I tried to return to the original topic that I prepared. "No! I won't be able to sleep if don't answer it!", [Insert laugh crowd SFX here], the same male student squealed. With that the male students debated with each other, each giving out points to the earlier question as if it meant their lives to answer it. The bombardment of laughing crowd SFX wailing as the boys continue their search for the mystical answer for the question.

There was something familiar with this laughing crowd SFX. I dropped my jaw to one particular conclusion. HOMAYGASH!!!! I'm on the set of FRIENDS! The 1st boy who asked was Chandler, the squealing boy was Joey, and the one who gives positive arguments is Ross. Then we have two silent girls I recognize to be Rachel and Phoebe. Oh! That guy is Wil! Rachel's boyfriend from season whatever! HOMAYGASH!!!! Why the hell is Phoebe so silent? Isn't she suppose to be the noisiest?

I tried to still answer the question presented earlier, but my thinking powers escaped me, probably caused by my dried throat and grumbling stomach. I was on the verge of cutting myself in half when Phoebe finally spoke. "Class over!". We were immediately warped back to the pageant venue, and I was back in my purple number. With my fragmented confidence, I gathered every ounce of bravery to do my final beauty queen wave and final bow.

Swish! And my hair flew upwards as I pivoted to exit the stage. The Dyosa exited, stage left. After leaving the stage, I spotted the next candidate, Ms. ChE. I told her what I did and such, of course I spared her the agonizing details of my beautycon experience. I gave her words of encouragement and blessed her with goodluck with my dyosa powers. "Thank you girl!, was the last thing she said before she proceeded to the stage.

There the road to my Professorial journey abruptly ended. Yep. Nagdilang anghel siya. I am a certified Thank you girl.

But of course I left Planet Pageant with my self-worth and my head held high. My spaceship flew by other planets destined to conquer the next civilization.

Kahapon natapos ko na yung libro ni Louie Cano na Pamhinta X. I must say, I super enjoyed it! Mukha nga akong tanga kasi tumatawa ako mag-isa nung nagbabasa ako. Madaling araw pa naman yun, baka pagkamalan akong baliw. Anyway, may gustong gusto akong part dun na nabasa ko din sa text dati. Pero kulang yung sinabi nya dun sa una kong nabasa. eto yun.



Natawa pa din ako at napa- "Shet! Oo nga noh!" ako!

Natawa ako lalo nung nagbabasa ako ng feeds sa FB wall ko. Mega umispluk ang friendsterlaver kong ko apoy!

Ang hirap nga naman maging bisexual. You have twice as many choices to make. Well, at least hindi ako bisexual. May paninindigan ako. HAHAHAHA!
---member of Engg Dyosa Circle

No offense sa mga ka-PLU nating mga Bi. Meron lang kasi kaming isyu dun sa sinasabi nila ng Bi sila but in truth eh they are a certified judingerzi! By definition kasi, ang bisexual ay two-way pwede sa girl and pwede sa boy. Pero may mga male PLU's na strictly sa male lang din pumapatol and yet they call themselves Bi's. Wala lang, hindi naman nakakabababa ng pagkatao kung tatawagin mo ang sarili mong isang bakla noh.

BAKLA AKO! PAK!

Tanga na ko. Sige na. Tanga na. Tanga nako kasi binigyan ko sya ng isa pang chance. As you can see binura ko yung A Letter to myself na post ko. Sige tatanggapin ko lahat ng sasabihin nyo sakin. Tanga. Bobo. Ulol. Sira ulo. Kahit ano. Pero hindi na magbabago ang isip ko sa ginawa ko. Kahit pa kinabukasan ulet nun, nagbigay nanaman sya ng disappointment sken. Tanga na talaga. Nagpapakatanga.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko ni-grab yung chance nung nag-usap kami na baguhin yung desisyon ko. For the record, ako ang nagtanong sa kanya kung tutuloy pa ba namin ang friendship namin o hindi nah. although sya naman yung unang kumausap sakin about the issue. Pero yung trigger nya eh yung mga nakasulat sa post ko sa letter ko sa sarili ko. Yun lang pala ang paraan para mapansin nya na nasasaktan ako. Anyway, naisip ko kasi nun, sa mata nya ako ang may pagkakamali, sa mata ko naman, sya yung may pagkukulang. Walang mangyayari smen kung pareho kaming magmamatigas. Kaya sinubukan ko nalang magfirst move.

Pareho nga kasi kaming stubborn. Pareho lang kaming magmamatigas hanggang sa huli. Kaya naisip ko walang mangyayari kung wala saming magbabackdown. Feeling ko ang hina hina ko. I'm so weak that despite my big effort and determination to ultimately forget about him, he just talked to me and I immediately scrambled to get back to him. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Sarap iuntog ng sarili ko. Grabeh!