"WILBERT! WILBERT! WILBERT! WILBERT! WILBERT!"

Ang sigaw ng mga utawchi sa ganap na nirampahan ng Dyosa kagabi.

Inhale akey ng malalim.

May I take off my four eyes.

Tumayo.

Shunggal ang headband.

Nag-hairflip.

Matapos ang mental countdown at pag-iinternalizechina (eksenang artista lang!), nagready-set-go na at kumatwalk patungo sa waiting-in-vain na monobloc chair.

Naging final participant ang Dyosa sa Game na Electric Chair.

Sige na nga. Joinchi na aketchi sa game. Para sa mga bata na itu!

Ayan na sya... Ayan... Ayan na si Kuya... Lumalapit na si Koya, may hawak na dalawang bote ng vodka...

PAK!! VODKA!!! My poison of choice!

Pumosition na akey. Prep na prep ang beauty ko sa pagtingala at mega nganga! Kasya na ata yung braso ni Kuya! Chows!

"GO!!!"

Sigaw ng madlang kabataan at mga gurangers na cheering squad ng pangalan ko kanina (gumaganti lang! charot!).

Startsung na ng pag-ulan ng vodka sa bottomless kong ngala-ngala. Eksenang Lawa ng Taal, o sige na para closer to home: UST sea na kulay blue, ang peg ng bibig ni atashi. Itsura ng Listerine diba? Chowz!

May I countdown ang mga bagets at ang mga special guests na chandeliers habang todo laklak ang yours trulily ng katas ni koya na kulay blue (yung vodka ekek! Rated SPG!!!). Mega Scream and shout na ang drama ng madlang pipol nung lumagpas na akey sa 32 second mark na ginawa nung early bird promo na participant.

At nagtuloy tuloy lang ang Dyosang itey sa pag lagok ng vodka sent from above! [Inset BGM with Mariah Carey vocals!] I can make it through the rain!!! I will make lagok once again!!!

At dahil parang jutengga nalang yung bumabagsak, itinaas ko pa yung bote ni koya. Yung hawak nya ah!

PIKPAKBOOM!!!

In 1 minute, nakaubos ako ng 1.5 BOTTLES of 40% VODKA! PAK!!!

Hiyawan galore na ang mga Party Animals!

Dyosa's Secret
Eto seryoso, hindi nako masyadong magbebeki language. Madali lang naman intindihin yung theory behind this pag may background ka sa Anatomy and Physiology. Well, Kuya ko kasi ay doktor that used to teach that subject tapos I am friends with loads of registered nurses. Also my interest in Temperence Brennan novels and series (which focuses in forensic anthropology) drove me to study the science.

I don't have a special units in Anatomy and Physiology but I gauged my mastery over the subject by acing the Major exams of my nursing friends (I answered their exams and had an average of 95%).

Anyway, please obeserve the picture below:

So sa picture makikita nyo after the tongue meron parang extension which is called the Epiglottis. It's a cartilage meaning a soft bone. Beyond the mouth kasi we have a space called the Pharynx. Afterwards, it will split into two tracts: the Esophageal and the Laryngeal Tracts. Its common knowledge that the Esophagus is connected to the stomach and the Larynx to the lungs.

So when you breathe air, the pathway is in default towards the Laryngeal tract But when you swallow food or drink, the epiglottis will act as a barrier and will close the tract to the larynx and the food will be delivered towards the esophagus. That is why you can't breathe and swallow at the same time.

Now onto my secret. Hindi po ako kaagad nagga-gulp down. Iniintay ko muna mapuno relatively yung contents ng bibig ko bago ako mag-gulp. Eto ay para maensure na yung buong iswaswallow ko ay mapupuno yung perpendicular Area nung esophagus ko (hello engineering term!). Kasi pag naggulp ka ng hindi filled up completely ng liquid yung esophgus mo, yung kasama nun will be air. So may tendency na sa Larynx dumaan yung drink. Kya nauubo yung iba dahil dun.

As for my skill in gulping na nakatingala. Practice makes perfect! Not the idea that you think of but with BEER BOMB!!! Sarap grabeh!

Next time ulet!!! Tandaan ang Dyosa Word of the night nung gabing yun!

BAWAL ANG KJ!!!