One whole day had passed since I found out about his lie.

He lied.

Yep.

But he still doesn't know that I know that he lied. He cannot deny it anymore. My instincts told me he is, the info I gathered second it, first hand evidences and analysis of events all adds up.

When he denied it, I doubted my ability to feel a person. I doubted my ability to read people's behavior. Hell. I doubted myself.

That's the reason why I felt enraged. He made me doubt myself. He may have not done it purposely but that's the end to his action. I was infuriated as well of the fact that when I thought I made a mistake, I felt guilty. And finding out that he in fact lied to me; that guilt was baseless.

But after spending a few hours wide awake, I thought I am being unfair to him. He probably puts up a brave face but in truth he is scared. He is probably confused too; Probably trying to be cautious of his next move.



That's why I think I should give him another chance. After all, he's a person that I loved. No. He is a person I am still in love with. Although this comes with an uncertainty, I don't know if he trust me enough to tell me the truth. Honestly I'm scared too. I will be broken if he lied to me again. But I will be brave. He deserves this chance, and at the very least, I gave him the chance to tell me everything...

Because of Personal reasons, the author will not continue this post anymore. Thank you!

---

Nakasitting pretty aketchang sa Bon Jovi habang nagflysung pa-PBR nang bigla shumulugog ang celphone-china ni atashi.

"Will? Nasa PBR ka na? Favor? Hehe", Ispluk ni President sa text text boom boomchi.

Nag-shout for joy ang puso ng dyosa! Nagtext text boom boomchi si Prince Charming! Hmmmp... Knowsing-chinabelles ng dyosang iteklaboom kung whysung nagtext text boomboomchi si Prince Charming, kaya mas mabilis pa baklang hinahabol ng saksak nagreply ang lola nyo:

"Print yung prayer mo?"

Kaming tuwabelles ang assigned sa Flag Ceremony (Wit bastos, literal neng!) na magprayer at mag-inspirational talk ng very pleasant Monday na yumagang yun.

"Yup. Kaso di ko pa natype. Hahaha.", rihanna ni President.

Habang read to the max ang drama ko sa text, shumulugog muli ang faithful cellphone kez. Niforward na ni Prince Charming yung prayer na made in Alangan nya.

"Okay. Kaw talaga. Sana kagabi mo pa binigay. Sus. Padating palang akong BRC.", ispluk ng dyosa.

"=P Akala ko magagawa ko pa kagabi ee. Haha.", rhirhi nya.

Nasa Bon Jovi pa akez ng may mahagip ang mga mata ni atashi. May I text muli ako kay Prince Charming:

"Bagong gupet! Mamimiss ko ang stressed rugged look mo. hihi!"

"Oh yeah. Hahaha.", juts nyang rhirhi

Pagka-Enter the Dragon palang sa office, mega madali sa pagtype sa prayer. Eksenang sekretaryang walang tingin tingin sa keyboard! Pak!

Malapet palang mafinish product ang pagtatype nang biglang nag-open sesame seeds ang Sam pinto. Si President! Kaloka!

Amen and Amen. FINISHED PRODUCT!!! Sakto!!!

"Tapos na Pres! Sakto ang dating mo!"

"Okay na?"

Jumosok na sya sa office nung mga oras na yun. TIME SPACE WARP! NGAYON DIN! Naging lokarette ang lola nyo nung mga oras na yun. Wit ko rin knowsing, masyado aketch clumsy pag malapet ako kay Prince Charming. Kabogella ang dibdib-china ni atashi.

"Okay naman yung spacing?", kamoteque ni Pres.

"Yep, inayos ko na din yung ibang errors."

Habang may eksenang moment na ganun kami ni Pres, bumukas-china ulet ung Sam Pinto, si Madam Kay.

Nawala ang dimensyon ni Fuuma Ley-Ar at nahimasmasan ang dyosa.

"Madam, magprint po ako ng isa ah. Print ko lang yung prayer ni President. ahihihi!". yes yes mga kabogella, may halong giggle itu.

Nag-givesung naman ng go signal si Madam kaya niprint ko na agad yung prayer. Habang hotacious pa nga yung papel sa printer, kinuha kez agad at may I half the paper. Tapos nistapler ko dun sa cardboard na ginamit ni atashi nung nag host-china akez nung bday ni FPY.

"Kahit wag na, may podium naman", ispluk nya.

"Okay lang yan, minsan lang yan eh."

Tapos nun, magflysung na sya sa Training room para ibaba yung bag nya. Si atashi naman, nasalubong si Maam Cecil habang rumarampage sa hallway.

"Oh, andyan ka na pala. Kilala mo ba tong mag opening prayer?"

Ay nakez Mudak! Wit lang knowsing! Lokang loka ako sa kanya!

"Opo, nilapag lang po nya yug bag nya sa training room."

Jumosok ulet si atashi sa office. Wit na si Madam Kay. Baka nag-CR. Lalabas na akey ulet ng office nang jumosok naman si JC. Ask-china mez kung join force sya sa flag ceremony. Wit daw. Kaya nag bonggang project runway nalang aketch papuntang lobby.

Sa dulo ng catwwalk, nasightsung ko naman si Ate Nymps, mega ask-china din ako kung jojoinsung sya sa flag ceremony.

"Baket?", tanongchi ni Ateng.

"Uhhhmmm... kami kasi ni Pres ung assigned today eh..." rhirhi ni mez with matching pacute voice.

Nagflysung na sa ofis si Ateng Nymps. Wit ko na naheardung yung rhirhi nya kasi The Calling na kami ni Ma'am Cecil.

*lub dub* *lub dub*

Gosh! Kabogella ang puso kez!

Nag-aassemble na ang mga utawchi sa facade ng Admin Building. Mega ayos na din samin si Ma'am Cecil at mega ispluk na magread set go na kami.

*lub dub* *lub dub*

*lub dub* *lub dub*

*lub dub* *lub dub*

Haaay!!! Tootsie Gueverra much!

*lub dub* *lub dub*

*lub dub* *lub dub*

Bonggang Tootsie talaga akez!

*lub dub* *lub dub*

*lub dub* *lub dub*

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

*lub dub* *lub dub*

Show time na!

Nagmove forward sa podium si Prince Charming...

Huminga sya ng malalim at startsung ang prayer:

"Father God, we come before Your throne where we can find grace & mercy to give You glory, praise, & thank You for all Your goodness & kindness.

We thank You for all the blessings You've bestowed upon us. For waking us up today.Forgive us all our shortcomings. Forgive us for our sins as we forgive those who sin upon us.

Be upon this day, help us, guide us & with Your knowledge & wisdom in us, we know that everything we will do brings success and victory.

In Jesus' name we pray and claim. Oh Holy Spirit do take over.

Amen and Amen."

Ang lola nyo mukhang tanga, nakangiti ng bongga. Megang mega smile! Wala lang! Proudchina akez kasi narecognize si Pres.

Pumila sya sa likodchinimels ng aming batchmates. Fumorward na si Ma'am Cecil. National Anthem naman at Panunumpa sa watawat.

??? Bayang Magiliw... ???

At bengga! May introduction pa ang beauty ko!

"Sigurado ako kilala nyo na ang speaker natin ngayon. Dahil nakita natin sya, at ang galing galing nyang maghost. From Training Department..."

At kumatwalk ang dyosa pa podium...

Today...

I learned that I shouldn't be guilty. What came from my mouth was the truth. It may have been unnecessary to divulge the information to other people, but at the end of the day it was the truth.

Today...

I will stand up and face the world. I need not feel ashamed. The truth destroys relationships; that is a fact. But I'd rather be truthful than hide behind a veil of deceit.

Today...

I am a new person. Free from guilt. Free from sadness.

Today...

You will just be a memory: of the things I aspire the person I want to be with; of the person I longed for; of the person I loved in this short burst of time.

Today...

the feeling is extinguished. Quenched by knowledge of the truth.

Today...

I learned.

Today...

is a significant day because...

Today...

I learned that you...

Lied to Me...

A night has passed after I lost him. Once more, a glimpse of glimmer from my eyes can be seen. Subtle light from the kitchen enters my room. Illuminating the rivers of sadness that are being pulled by gravity.

I hugged my pillow and cried some more. A silent witness to my present forlorn. It was after seeing his picture in my laptop that gave me that disdain feeling. I mustered the courage to look at his picture. He is wearing sando showing his skinny physique coupled with an awkward look on his face, an obvious stolen shot from his housemates. A plate of rice smothered with dinuguan in the foreground with his face illuminated by the morning light from the jalousie window.

I miss him.

That was the only thing in my mind. No, I don't miss his presence. But instead, I miss the feeling that everything I do is for him. I miss that gratifying feeling of accomplishment in my tasks because he will never be proud of me.

I wetted the keyboard with that thought.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Realization: I lost him though he was never mine.