Few friends of mine are bugging me lately with my love life. Ha! Funny! Aside from the usual flirting episodes here and there, there is not much to share. Nada. Zilch.
On my end, I have given up on my futile attempts to get into a relationship. What's the point of getting into a relationship that you know from the start is doomed to just end? I'm not being a pessimist. I'm just being real. Reality bit me... Not just once... Not just twice... Not even just thrice... I have learned my lesson. And it has become who I am.
I am what you call an
Old School Dyosa which can be described by one characteristic: I have a heart of a girl. I favor being treated like a lady. I like to be fetched. I like to be held by the hand when going down. I like to rest my head on a nice man's shoulder. I like to be given things that I did not ask for. I like to be walked home. I like to be pleased by the boy I like. Sounds like a princess huh?
But like I said, reality bit then chew me to smultch. I never experienced them
with the men that are important to me. And these men mean a lot to me, I give them every resources that I can give. Time. Money. Effort. Everything. I try to savor my time with them because honestly, that's the only thing that I get from them. But after that, I really get this hollow feeling inside me that I will never get to fill.
Hence, my Queen persona. A Queen that created a castle wall from her fragile Princess heart. A Queen has her duties. A Queen has subjects to rule. The only mantra that would make sense for me to go on with this unfair world that I live in.
Love? Haha! Love?! No one can give me that! Can he break these walls that I made to survive? Can he treat me like a princess that I am? Can he still be my prince even if we're out in public?
No use in waiting. As Elsa once said,
The cold never bothered me anyway...
