On my end, I have given up on my futile attempts to get into a relationship. What's the point of getting into a relationship that you know from the start is doomed to just end? I'm not being a pessimist. I'm just being real. Reality bit me... Not just once... Not just twice... Not even just thrice... I have learned my lesson. And it has become who I am.
I am what you call an Old School Dyosa which can be described by one characteristic: I have a heart of a girl. I favor being treated like a lady. I like to be fetched. I like to be held by the hand when going down. I like to rest my head on a nice man's shoulder. I like to be given things that I did not ask for. I like to be walked home. I like to be pleased by the boy I like. Sounds like a princess huh?
But like I said, reality bit then chew me to smultch. I never experienced them with the men that are important to me. And these men mean a lot to me, I give them every resources that I can give. Time. Money. Effort. Everything. I try to savor my time with them because honestly, that's the only thing that I get from them. But after that, I really get this hollow feeling inside me that I will never get to fill.
Hence, my Queen persona. A Queen that created a castle wall from her fragile Princess heart. A Queen has her duties. A Queen has subjects to rule. The only mantra that would make sense for me to go on with this unfair world that I live in.
Love? Haha! Love?! No one can give me that! Can he break these walls that I made to survive? Can he treat me like a princess that I am? Can he still be my prince even if we're out in public?
No use in waiting. As Elsa once said, The cold never bothered me anyway...
3 comments:
Hmm :) Feel ko may love life na yan dumating sa yo :) Share nga your story to all of us readers!! :)
I feel you. A few years back, I've decided that I, too, were done with love and relationships. I've decided that from then on, I will be a muse for young gays and help them achieve their dreams. Dreams that I can and will never have. But, alas, prince charming broke through my walls. Charging with his legendary stallion of steel. Who am I to resist and fight back. I am, after all, just a princess, standing in front of my prince, asking him to take me. LOL. Ang chessy!
Anyway, teh, wag mawalan ng pag-asa. Kung ako nga na thunders na at kamukha pa ni Alan K nagkalove life, ikaw pa? Keri mo yan. Feel ko pa naman ganda ganda mo.
bongga ka dyan te.
women empowerment! haha
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