I was known as the One Man Team when I was still a student leader in my tertiary Alma Mater. When I was a 4th year Chemical Engineering Student, I retained my position as the Legal Officer of our neophyte political party, SIKLAB. I was also appointed the Project Director of Thomasian Project 4, under the then Cachero CSC Administration. I was the sole member of the SIKLAB Legal Team, since we were a neophyte party, and the Thomasian Project 4, since the other member, my superior, graduated in the last school year.

I guess I did good in those two positions since I retained them the following school year. But it was mainly due to the fact that I was left to explore the positions that I held. SIKLAB was just in its sophomore year, I was free to define what kind of person should the SIKLAB Legal Officer be. I was free to create a system of documentation that future SIKLAB Legal Officers can use. While for TP4, I was part of its pilot phase and my opinions were held with high regard because I was the longest to be affiliated with the project.

Unlike what is happening now...

I was assigned to a program that I know nothing of except that it's like a showcase of technical projects. Even worse, I was the one the helm the realization of the program this year. Oooooh BOY!!!

During the initial planning, I heard this particular remark that made me realize that I am will be a One Man Team once more: "Estimate mo kung ilan kelangan mong mga...". Pertaining to the materials that I will need for the program. I knew right then that I will be in this alone. There was no hint of I'll help you in that remark. But there can never be more horrifying experience with this program than learning that I have no budget. Worse, I was accused that I will not do the program because there was no money. FUCK!

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! To tell you the truth, I was very frustrated that I was given to helm this program. Not only that the needed spirit or mindset has not even inculcated in me, I have no prior experience with the program whatsoever. It was okay if I was the first time that the program will be organized. I can simply explore the possibilities just like what I did back in college. But since the program was existing for years now, there was a sense of expectation from all that are familiar with it. You must do this and that because that was done before. I was so stressed thinking about what will happen with the program that I fell ill many times in the past months. The program is important they said, the program is used for appraisal they said. IF IT IS SO DAMN IMPORTANT WHY IS THE BUDGET FOR IT BEEN CUT?!

After a few sleepless nights, I finally found the resolve to really spearhead the program. I have no prior experience with it so I have no choice but to simply own it. I will OWN it since I AM the one in charge! I got my netbook and started creating designs for new logos. I made logos to symbolize that the program is getting a facelift. So far, the feedback has been positive.

I find it funny that they wanted me to do a Workshop even though I haven't even had that workshop yet. When I asked for the objective, it was to get ideas for future projects. Then ultimately, it was late since there was a prerequisite period of implementation before projects were eligible for the program. So anything that they can come up can only be passed next year. I was stubborn not to conduct anymore workshops. It was simply just a waste of time.

I will give it all I got until it exhaust me. I will never forget the grade I got during my regularization.


I will all show you who I really am.