I was dumbstruck when I read that particular post. I felt uneasy all throught out my jeepney ride home. My mind completely dittoing the cloudy sky. I gave a deep sigh after disembarking from the PUJ. The weather truly sympathetic...

I closed my eyes and gave another sigh as I sat down on my monobloc chair. The post reverberating into the deepest corners of my heart. I slumped lazily as my mind drifted to the abyss.

But then again, my mind begged to differ. Should I really be affected? Should I really think that it's about me?

I guess I still do have feelings for him. But why should I hold on to something that was never there to begin with? I'm just fed up with false hopes and make-believes. This is probably a wake up call; The only difference is that it came from him.

yup. We will part ways... I'll make sure of it...

Recently, I haven't been cooking meals in my home in Bataan. It's not that I hate the clean up or anything. I wasn't really sure why though. But tonight, I read a manga that gave the me the reason why...

It's true that I love to cook. It's probably one of my skills that I can brag about. That's why it's really a wonder that I haven't been cooking at all. And I think the reason is...

I'm not cooking for someone...

Like the manga I read pointed out, cooking is different if your doing it for someone. Though I guess, there was no avenue in which I can make him eat what I cooked. But it's a fact that I do think about him when I cook. Well, I still am recovering from the "loss" of the love that was never there. How ironic to be sentimental to something that did not exist. It's sooooooooooooooooo RH Debate!

Anyhoo, I plan to cook some food for me soon. I miss that Sour Tomato recipe I used to make when I was still living in Cavite. The sweet-sour-salty flavor is a must in this rainy season. It's healthy too.

Kamusta lovelife?

That's probably the most common question I hear when catching up with friends in the metro. I usually reply with the generic: Wala. Zero.

But with friends in Bataan, the usual question is, Kamusta na kayo ni Prince Charming?

To put it bluntly, I moved on. Yes there was this silver lining, for moment, that I saw with him. But I have already accepted the reality that my supposed "Prince Charming" is not the Prince for me.

Next question pops up. Ganun ka kabilis mag-move on?

I can't just move on in just a snap but I guess for this instance, the process was swift. Probably because I didn't put much emotional investment on this. It was from the start, a game of cat and mouse. There were too many loose ends cloaked in denials and lies. It was apparent that it was simply an opportunity but unfeasible from the start.

I made a mistake before when I fell in love with a coward and a fraud who treated me like a piece of trash after he was done with me. Along with that came my broken heart and shattered dreams. I dreamed that we can be a team. I dreamed that we can fulfill a common endeavor. But he left me. Without a clear explanation why and what happened. He just threw me out of his life. And I was left alone to gather the pieces of me and the dream that I made for the two of us.

It's funny that I once mentioned that I would work in my current company and finance his Masters in my Alma Mater. Though that time I was still working in a different company. And look where I am now, working in this company that I never thought will accept me, and look where he is, I think still being that closetted sexual predator. If this story intrigues you, I suggest you read The Angel of Torment series. You can read all about it there.

Anyhoo, back to the real topic. I guess, this didn't shatter me enough to make it a big deal. Like they say, what doesn't kill you make you stronger. Yep. I'm stronger alright.

Many people are shocked when they find out that I preferred to be called Tito by my nephews and nieces. It's really not much of deal. I just like it that way. But upon thinking about, I think I know why.

Hmmm... I guess I am still a male figure in the family. I'm still the younger "brother" and that corresponds to being the Tito for my nephews and nieces. It doesn't bother me at all since I don't want them to be confused. I'm all for the gender identity thing, but I want my nephews and nieces first to learn the differences between male and female are before they explore the complexity of my sexual preference.

Think of it like this, I want them first to learn one plus one before I teach them how to solve the square root of nine-four-nine-point-seven-five plus the cube root of one-zero-four-point-six-three all over forty seven.

I am my own identity and I'm sure they have there own version of what my identity is for them. Probably, the tito who tutors them in their english, math, and science subjects.

I was very lucky to get a copy of this film. Honestly, I never expected it to be that good. I will not delve in the technical aspects of the film since that is really not my cup of tea. But I'd rather share the feeling that I had after watching it.

The real reason why the film drew me at first is because Harry Shum Jr. was part of it. Seeing the alternative poster where Shum and the lead actor, Booboo Stewart of twilight fame, was sitting on the grass at a cemetery made me wonder what type of movie the film was. We all know Shum as one of the male dancers of the hit show, Glee. So I was really curious on what his role really is in the film.

But upon my closer inspection, I realized that it was not Shum in the poster with Stewart but Gregg Sulkin, whom I know and love as Wesley Fitzgerald from Pretty Little Liars, making me all the more curious.

I was very touched by the film. Probably because it hit a few buttons on me. Just like Nick (Stewart), I was pretty close when I was a kid with my big brother. Though in Nick's case, his brother Chaz (Shum) died. Nick actually has Asperger's which is a form of Autistic Spectrum Disorder. Basically, Nick just lacks the social skills and non-verbal communication skills.

Nick felt lost when his big brother died. His identity was simply his Chaz's little brother. He was contented with the idea that he was his brother's confidant and that he knows him well. But throughout the film, he learned that there are things that he didn't know about his brother. That he gambles and helps kids in a shelter.

Probably, the biggest shocker for me is that when Nick and I found out that Chaz was gay. He was in love with his friend Randy (Sulkin). Gosh! When I saw the photobooth picture and the one where Randy was kissing Chaz on the cheek. It was a bombshell on me!

In the end, when Nick got to know his dead brother more, and began to accept him for who he is, I believe he found himself, and also the courage to be himself. It's funny that he started to find out more about his brother but he ended finding out more about himself. He gained the trust of his brother's best friends and made himself an identity without a need for one to determine it.

One more button that the movie touched is that just like Randy, I also have straight friends who love and trust me. It is something that I won't exchange for anything.

Oh did I mention one more eye candy? Tyler Posey, the lead of the series, Teen Wolf is also in the film. Yummy!

Puti
ni Wilter von Phar

Pumikit
ngunit sa halip na dilim ay puti.
Mga mata'y nakatanaw sa dibuhong lalaki.

Pumintig
nang ang liwanag ay humalik.
Mga labi'y sabik na sabik.

Huminga
nang walang kasing lalim na dagat
haplos at init sa liwanag ang ugat

Humangos
dahil pandaliang pantangi'y nawaglit.
Matapos mangalay at may puting sumirit.

Dahil Buwan ng Wika, sige gumawa tayo ng mga tulang Filipino! May inaalala akong tao sa tulang ito. Sya talaga nag buong dahilan kaya ko sinulat ito.

I was busy making my slides for the workshop I was going to spearhead when a very peculiar headline from my Rappler news feed popped out.

'My Husband's Lover' bill

I'm sure if you know me, you know by now that I dab into the legal stuff even though I'm an Engineer by profession. I immediately clicked the link and was directed to the article. At first, I was amused with the title; but that quickly dissipated when I read what the article was about. Albay representative Edcel Lagman filed the so called My Husband's Lover Bill.

"His proposed law seeks to provide wives and husbands the option to sue their partners who are committing same-sex adultery.

Dubbed as the "My Husband's Lover" bill, the measure seeks to broaden the definition of adultery under Article 333 of the Revised Penal Code to include same-sex extramarital affairs.
-Rappler

For discussion purposes, I will be speaking in the view of a gay man since it is the kind of homosexuality I am most familair with. But that doesn't mean what I'm saying does not apply to lesbians and bisexuals.

I understand Rep Lagman's ideals for equality. I understand it too well. But as much as I want to support this equality bill of his, I think there are things to be acknowledged first before we talk about this issue.

#1 Pass the Anti-discrimination Bill.
Fear of discrimination from society is the number one reason why gay men hide in the closet. They deny what they truly feel since it is not the norm. That is why they do great lengths to keep their real identity hidden, even going as far as marrying a woman so as not be disgraced from being a homosexual.

But even though these gay men are "happily" married, a certain aspect of their life is not fulfilled. That is why their homosexual tendencies haunt them. Until finally, they give in to temptation and have a secret love affair with one of their kumpares.

Point is, regardless if the relationship with the third party was just about sex or love, these men were gay from the start who forced themselves to not accept who they truly are because of fear of discrimination. That is the root of this problem, and it should be the one to be addressed. The My Husband's Lover Bill just cure the symptom but not really the cause. That is why the passing of the Anti-discrimination Bill is in order to lessen or even eradicate the fear of discrimination amongst the LGBT ranks. Thereby, lowering the cases of closetted gay men marrying females.

#2 Acknowledgement that Same-sex relationships are legitimate. Allow Same sex marriages.
We were told when we were kids that having a family of your own is one of the greatest joys of life. Guess what? It's true! That is why the Philippine government should allow same sex marriage so that homosexual couples can have the same rights as hetero couples. The right to create a family and kinship will be awarded to the homosexual couple. There is no need to create a fake normal family just to be happy.

#3 Empower the spouses. Pass a Divorce Law.
After finding out that your husband is gay who has a relationship with his bestfriend (whoa! My Husband's Lover's plot!) and there's this law that will punish them, what are you going to do? Of course, you file a law suit against them. Then after winning the case what's next? You live with your husband again with the hope that you continue your married life and live happily ever after? Duh! The legal wife's only legal remedy is legal separation to avoid that awkward scenario. But then again, this is the case with heterosexual couples too when the husband keeps a concubine. Though with the heterosexual couple, there is a chance to salvage the marriage since they can still be attracted to one another, but it's not the same with the earlier case. A fully enlightened gay man will never sleep with a woman. EVER AGAIN.

#4 Complicated scenarios
Before I go and give my approval to this, I want the lawmakers to answer how they are going to handle these situations.

The Husband is Bisexual.
Since teh husband is bisexual, he has two sexual needs. One for a woman, and one for a man. And we all know that sexual satisfaction is a need. How can this case be handled then?

The Husband and Wife conspired to extract money from the third party but that didn't go as planned.
Suppose that the wife knows that her husband is a boytoy of a rich third party gay man, but she connived with her husband so that they can profit from this gay man. But eventually her husband truly fell in love with the rich gay man and left his wife. Then the wife filed a case, how will this be treated? After all, with her conniving with her husband initially, she gave her blessing with the relationship.

---

Again, I am all for the equal protection of rights. But there are things that needs to be addressed first before we homosexuals are put into bad light as home wreckers.

WOUNDED SOLDIER
by Wilter von Phar
the sound echoed, a falling mass of tin
knees kissed the ground, amaranth wounds unseen
eyes closed, sky's empathy, poured the rain
cold, broken, and misplaced. Such, a sword in pain
This was inspired by a story that an acquaintance was nabasted. Though, I tried to portray the figure in the piece as masculine, bits and pieces of my own emotions were inputted in.

Partly, I think I empathize with him. Since I know the pain of rejection all too well. Also, having suffered a loss in my heart just recently. I can imagine the heaviness of air around him right now. But I know he will follow through. Though we may not be close friends and talk just casually, my dyosa powers tell me that this is just a hump on his road.

This ones for you.

They have found their target.

Immediately they commenced their operation. The pair went in separate ways. Although they have the same mission, they have different methods of doing it.

The first one made his move and managed to get the target's attention. His mission: to distract the target; It was a success. Of course, since the target is already aware of his presence, he needs to be more careful. Good thing, his target went out of the room. Must be because his mission was a smashing success, and he was able to not only distract the target but also make it leave its station. The agent thought he could rest since the target was gone and proceeded to lay on the target's workstation.

A little time later, the target went back to it's workstation and spotted the intruder just laying there. With the element of surprise in its favor, it grabbed the item nearest it and with much confidence struck the intruder.

***SLAMMMMM!***

The target set aside his makeshift weapon and looked at the intruder's lifeless body. No remorse whatsoever was felt. It looked at the corpse and grinned...

The second agent watched in horror as the target disposed of her comrade's cadaver. The body was carried using the same weapon that was used to remove his partner's ability to breathe. It was thrown away in a gray pit with revolving ceiling. Fear immediately enveloped her. She's next she thought. Should she get out there? She will die if she didn't, she thought.

Going back to its workstation, the target spotted yet another intruder in its sacred sanctum. With stealth it approached the second intruder and wondered, Why is it not moving? Slowly but surely, it approached its workstation. Anyway, whatever the reason is, it's an intruder in my space. Once again, the target grabbed its makeshift weapon. The element of surprise really favoring its fortune. One more step and one hand in the air...

***SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM!***

The sound reverberated like the action had a greater force than the previous one. Sure enough, the target saw the proof that indeed its second strike was stronger than its first. On the wall, the crushed corpse of the second intruder adhered. The blood from the intruder painted the wall with scarlet droplets. The target grinned once more, seemingly at the sight of gore in its sacred sanctum. It's grin grew wider. Wider. Wider. Showed teeth that reflected its delight.

The second corpse was retrieved. Just like what it did to the first cadaver, it was thrown in the gray pit with revolving roof. The target released a maniacal laugh after having its two kills for the day.

WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


REST IN PIECES
John Fly and Jane Fly
DOD: July 31, 2013
COD: Slammed by stack of papers