This passed week during lunch time at work, I had sudden inspiration to write short poems. Here they are:

Gulong
Umusad ang mundong nakapako
muling nabuhay ang puso't dugo
Pagnaghoy sa sinta unti unting nililimot
Bumabangong muli sa mundong umiikot

Envelope
A container holds the most important of things
maybe white, brown, just a single sheet
But when feelings are the ones kept within
Sealed not by adhesive but tears

Fleeting
motion heading outward. Away.
Without word of mouth to say.
Like a lily slowly drifting with its leaves
afar in the horizon. Vanishing from perspective.

---

My most favorite of the three is the last one, Fleeting. It's a depiction of my love for Prince Charming. I know it's still there but it is slowly dissipates and will soon vanish, just like the lily that is being washed away by the river. Some things are just left with time to wash it away.

Please play the video above before proceeding...
Ang Original na baklang Kontrabida!

Shinkan Poe aka Babaylan Ida from Space Sheriff Shaider
Ang sumunod na pumalit sa Trono!

Ida II from Zaido: Pulis Pangkalawakan
Move over Ida and Ida II!!! May bagong bakla nang tatalbog sa inyo!

Inang Dyosa Whilhelmina
PAK!!!!

Kidding aside...

Si Great Priest Shinkan Poe o mas kilala nating Babaylan Ida ay unang unang gay icon na inidolo ko. Yes, bata palang ako may gaydar na ako. At amoy na amoy ko ang transvestite na apo ni Fuma Ley-Ar! Last year natapos ko finally yung Shaider, nalaman ko na hindi sya napatay ni Shaider! Since napatay ni Shaider si Fuma Ley-Ar, naggive up nalang sya kasi ginagawa nya lang lahat ng mga bagay na yun kasi utos sa kanya ng lolo Ley-Ar nya. Kaya ayun, nung ni-seal ni Shaider yung tomb ni Fuma Ley-Ar, kasama nang naseal sa loob si Shinkan Poe.

Para saken si Shinkan Poe pa din ang pinakabad-ass na Primera Baklang Kontrabida!

Sabay sabay tayong lahat!!!!
TIME SPACE WARP NGAYON DIN!!!!

My blood baro-metrics rose after I read the headlines in my Rappler feed last Wednesday morning:

Retired generals want ROTC back in colleges

DA FUCK!!!!

"(More than) 10 years after the abolition of the ROTC as mandatory program, there is now a growing sentiment that the national defense preparedness of our nation has not been served well since the alternative programs in the National Service Training Program are deemed insufficient to inculcate the values of discipline and patriotism required of every citizen and do not address the military training ideally required of every citizen," AGFO said. -GMA News

I would react to this in points:

Point #1: Patriotism and Discipline = Military Service???
I don't understand why these Generals (well former Generals) always equate Patriotism and Discipline with Military Training. Well in a sense it is true but we can all agree that Military training is not the only way to develop patriotism and discipline. A prime example is our Pambansang Kamao, a Filipino Athlete. Athletics is yet another venue to develop patriotism and discpline. The discipline required for training to become an athlete and the glory of representing your country to international games are the same output as military training in terms of discipline and patriotism.

If the military is really a training ground for patriotism and discipline, why is the military plagued with corruption and abuse of power? Isn't that the reason why the Magdalo group staged a coup d'tat? Let's not forget the pabaon system for the retiring AFP Chief of staff which was exposed by George Rabusa, former budget officer. AFP Comptrollers General Jacinto Ligot and General Carlos Garcia were primary accused. These GENERALS are the high ranking officials of the Armed Forces, yet there were no qualms in misusing taxpayers money. Where in this case in patriotism and discipline? Also, let's not forget about former AFP Chief Angelo Reyes who committed suicide because he is compelled to testify on the matter. I know it is wrong to bad mouth a dead person, but if REAL PATRIOTISM was instilled in this FORMER HIGHEST RANKING MILITARY OFFICIAL, he should have faced the Inquiry and spilled the beans! Even after his death he still owes us, his countrymen, the truth behind this corruption!

Let us now consider the recent headline that I read in my newsfeed. A certain General is allegedly abusing his authority by commanding troops under him to construct his personal home and is using provisions for military gas for his personal use. Where's the discipline in that?

Military service = Patriotism and Discipline? Bleh!

Point #2: Key phrase, the military training ideally required of every citizen
First, let as attack the phrase this way. If military training is a must for "every citizen" why is it that ROTC is only mandatory for the Male youth? It should mandatory to all and not just the male youth. But similarly, this military training for every citizen is already encompassed in the high school subject, Citizen's Army Training (CAT). Even the name of the subject itself summarizes what the AGFO wants. It's an Army Training for every citizen that is integrated in the Secondary Education Curriculum.

In my personal experience, CAT is nothing but a nuisance. I had to wake up early on a Saturday and go to school. There for half a day, we will be just be shouted by our batchmates who endured the same shouting the year before. We were commanded to look to left, the right, and march like there's no tomorrow. Then we are forced to shoulder punishments for the offenses did by other members of our platoon. We were screamed to squat, do push ups, jumping jacks, and pumpings. As part credit for CAT, we were required to attend a Say No to Drugs campaign. Honestly, I don't know what we did, we just simply marched around the Tondo neighborhood with streamers and slogans. Now, is that MILITARY TRAINING? HELL NO!!! Take note! CAT is also handled by Military officers!

Although I have doubts in the effectiveness of CAT for the required military training for every citizen, it still addresses the fact that there is already an existing COMPULSORY Army training that every citizen must take. Why add another?

Point #3: NSTP insufficent?
The National Service Training Program is promulgated by Republic Act 9163 which was catalyzed to enactment by the death of one, Mark Welson Chua. Of course the NSTP does not fully address the military training that they want. It was designed to give the students a choice to take ROTC or not. The law requires students male or female to render personal, military, or civil service for the country. It is therefore a service to the country regardless if its military in nature or not. It's PATRIOTISM in general not AGFO's crude definition of it.

Point #4: Nation Defense Preparedness
I can never contest the fact that every Filipino has the responsibility to defend our Motherland. But one can agree that there is greater responsibility for the soldiers whose main job is to defend our country and ensure peace and order. Why waste time on getting more reserve troops when you can just focus on strengthening and improving the skills of our Front line forces?

Although I didn't take ROTC during my college years, I feel as though the "Training" that the students received is not at par to be "national defense" ready. It's just like CAT; only, the students are in college. The same trash talk, the same shit of command hierarchy, and the same old boring march till you die under the ever so hot shining sun or the wet under the blanket of rain clouds. I don't have first hand experience on this, but just like everyone else, I was once a student. So taking into context that ROTC is just another subject, the students probably skip classes because its BORING. You stand in formation, get punished for an offense you didn't do, and talk to a douchebag officer who thinks his the king of the world since he's your superior. At the end of the day, students who took this "training" are non-combatants. One cannot expect them to contribute effectively in a war.

Forcing students to take the course and then concluding that every single one of the cadets are quality cadets is grave miscalculation. This is just quantity over quality. AGFO just wants more bodies to be considered cadets while not giving consideration on the quality of cadets the have. Stupidity at its finest.

Point #5: Mark Welson Chua
If you want one big reason why ROTC should not be made mandatory again, just think of Mark Welson Chua. He exposed the corruption hidden behind the ROTC program. He paid dearly for his courage and true sense of patriotism. His gruesome murder sparked the reform in that corrupt operation. For that I am very much grateful to him. Because of him, I enjoyed having the right to choose Literacy Training Service as my NSTP. His death will be in vain if the ROTC will once again be made mandatory. The cycle will just begin anew since the temptation of having too much power over a group of people is just so hard to resist.

I will never be in favor of having the ROTC mandatory again. My two nephews will be the ones affected by this. I want them to enjoy having the right to choose what type of service that they want to render for the country. IF they want to choose ROTC, then it's their own prerogative but at least I have a peace of mind that they are doing that in their own accord and it was not forced on them.

Walang plastikan.

Hinintay ko buong magdamag na igreet nya ako kahapon dahil birthday ko. At sa pagmulat ng mata ko kanina, cellphone ko agad yung una kong hinanap. Nagbakasakali na naalala nya yung birthday ko kahit tapos na.

Wala. Hindi dumating yung mensaheng iniintay ko.

Tama nga ako. Hindi ko alam bakit pa ako nagdalawang isip pa. Siguro kasi talagang nagmahal lang talaga ako. Ang weird noh? Nagmahal na wala namang ginagawa saken. Ganun talaga pag naiinlove dahil sa chemicals. Wahahahah!

At least ngayon I can have a stronger resolve na wala na talaga. Ayoko din naman maging flavor of the month ulet. Wala. Wala na ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Lumipas na yung pagmamahal na inalay ko na hindi naman nya pinansin. So there is nothing left to do but to completely move on.

Kaya ko. I've been here multiple times.

***SLAP!***

It ended with a loud smashing sound akin to glass being hit by a solid by not so stiff object. Both JC and I were surprised by that big thud of a sound probably because we were focusing on our own tasks at hand. It lay there on top of the glass canopy having a seizure. It was the result of Ate Nympa's quick and mighty slap using things closest to her free hand.

I flicked the almost-dead creature away from Ate Nympa's table and it plummeted near our steel cabinet. "Buhay pa yan", I heard Ate Nympa mentioned. Out of curiosity, I stood up too so I can see the creature more clearly. It's still having it seizure and was obviously still alive.

A quick spray of the Alcohol in a bottle to put it out of it's misery. One more spray just to make sure. Evil laughter erupted at the murder scene.

Since the murder made a mess in our office, I took a scratch paper and covered the creature's cadaver. It absorbed the alcohol mess around the scene. And to end it once and for all, I stepped on the foul creature's remains. ***SPLAT!***

I took the paper with the squished remains, crumpled it, and threw it in the waste basket...

...with a smile... Hihi!

Murder scene cleared.

REST IN PIECES
Mr. Malaking Langaw
DOD: July 19, 2013
COD: Drowned in Isopropyl Alcohol
Hobbies: Irritate the IMS Engineers by buzzing around the office non-stop

Maraming klase daw ang pagmamahal. Though hindi ako isang Psychology major, masasabi ko na may itong iba't ibang klaseng iba iba din ang lebel nito depende sa importansya nito sa tao. Yung iba importante ang sexual love; Familial love sa iba. Dakila din talaga yung mas mahalaga ang selfless love. Masarap din saksakin yung mga narcissistic love ang mahalaga. Iba, nababaliw sa romantic love. Pero sabi ko nga, iba iba ang importansya nya sa mga tao depende kung ano ang kinamulatan at pangangailangan nila.

Ako. Dahil masasabi ko na mahalaga saken ang mga pagmamahal na ito in ascending order: Familial love, Love of Friendship, Romantic love, selfless love, sexual love.

Oh baka isipin nyo amplastic plastik ko na yung sexual love yung pinakahuli. Take note lang po natin na ang kalibugan o lust ay hindi expression of love. It's a selfish satisfaction of one's earthly desire; As oppose to sexual love na "love" in a sense na exchange of passionate feelings.

Anyway, going back to my love hierarchy... Syempre unang una pa din ang love of kinship o ang pagmamahal na mula sa pamilya. Maswerte ako na tanggap ako ng pamilya ko bilang ako. Napagtanto ko habang lumalaki ako na pag may problema ako sa bahay mas madali akong mastress than usual. Although, lumaki akong pasaway na laging umaalis ng madaling araw nung high school ako, ayun, maswerte talaga ako na may kultura nga pagtanggap, pagpapatawad, at pagbibigay laya sa pamilya namin.

Love of friendship na yung sumunod. Let it be on record that I treasure my friends. I am a very loyal person especially to those people who earned them. Kaya nga I'm very careful whom I choose to interact with. As much as possible I stay away from people who show/have red flag traits. The Red Flag traits are: Mayabang, Plastik, Feeling Maganda, Feeling Matalino, Bobo, Walang Leadership Quality, Social Climber, Liar, Traitor, Predator. Mula sa pinakasimple hanggang sa talaga namang kahindik hindik na traits. Mas gugustuhin ko pang maging friends sa mga Serial killer na alam ko hindi ako sasaksakin sa likod noh dahil hihingi sya ng tulong saken na idispose yung katawan ng biktima nya kesa maging friends sa mga plastik.

Mas importante saken ang Friendship love kesa sa Romantic love. Kaya ko mainlove sa iba't ibang tao, pero yung friendship na kayang ioffer sa mga kaibigan ko. Special yun sa bawat isa. Hindi pantay pantay ang tingin ko sa mga kaibigan ko. Perong mas importante saken kaysa sa iba. Hindi nko magpapakaplastik. Totoo yun. May special treatment ako sa iba. Yun ang reaosn kaya I will never (again) break the line of friendship and romance. I crashed and burned nung ginawa ko yun. Ayoko na maramdaman ulet yung panghihinyang dahil lang I went to far with my emotions.

hmmmp... Moving on to romantic love. Pag ako nainlove wagas. Kaya pag ako nasaktan wagas din. At ang tanging sandigan pag nasasaktan nah... Kaibigan! Kaya mas mahalaga ang friendship love noh! Pero pag umabot ako sa point na everything feels right. Ay! Full force ang dyosang itey!

Pag ako nagmahal ng tao, lahat ibibigay ko. Imbis na para saken para sa kanila nalang. Selfless love na itu! *cue Only Selfless love!*

Tsaka palang papasok yung Sexual love or intimacy. Ewan ko, iba kasi pag may pagmamahal na kasama ang sex eh, yung hindi libog lang. Promise iba. Hindi fulfilling yun eh.

At finally naexplain ko na yung love para saken at importansya nito sa buhay ko. Ngayon, try ko naman iexplain kung bakit para saken may expiration date ang pagmamahal.

Ngayon sinasabi ko na hindi sa lahat nang tao mag-aapply etong mga sasabihin ko. Iba iba tayo ng outlook sa buhay, proof nyan eh iba iba nga tayo ng LOVE na gustong maramdaman.

Para saken, in some degree pwedeng optional nalang yung last three sa hierarchy of love ko. "in some degree" lang kasi alam ko naman hindi din ako mabubuhay ng wala yung mga yun paminsan minsan. Pwede namang walang jowa pero minsan you want to feel that "importance" sa ibang tao. Pwede din naman ako maging selfish at gawin lahat ng gusto ko pero i'm naturally benevolent naman so masasabi kong selfless ako in some degree. Hindi din naman ako sexually active for a long time, pero I really get the feeling na tigang ako lately.

Pero pag ako nainlove sa lalake, laging more than friendship ang hanap ko. Meaning romantic love. Kahit hindi nya ireciprocate minsan nag-eevolve ito sa pagiging selfless love. Magpapatuloy ang pagmamahal na yun hangga't s akaya pa ng puso kong stubborn. Pero once na magmaliw na yung nararamdaman ko, the longing for the romantic love. Nawawala din ang pagmamahal na yun. Ganun talaga pag hindi inaalagaan ang pagmamahal na inaalay mo sa isang tao.

Sinusubukan ko naman laging maghold on, hangga't kaya pa ng puso ko, maghohold on ako. Pero katulad ng lahat ng tao, napapagod din ako, ganun din ang puso ko. Nawawala din yung pagmamahal na inaalay mo sa isang tao kung puro sakit at pangungulila lang ang binibigay nung taong yun sayo.

Parang ngayon, akala ko si Prince Charming na yung lalakeng pinagdasal ko pa kay San Pedro Calunsod. Pero ngayon halos hindi ko na maramdaman yung pagmamahal sa kanya. Dati iniisip ko sya palagi, ngayon parang wala na. Ni hindi na tumitibok yung puso ko ng mabilis pag nakita ko sya sa Facebook feed ko. Alam ko dapat nagsasaktan ako ngayon dahil wala na sya, pero parang wala lang. Minsan naiinggit ako kay Eric ng My Husband's Lover (played by Dennis Trillo) kasi pag nasasaktan sya, nakakaiyak sya. Ako. Wala na. Manhind na eh. Eto na yung sinsasabing expiration ng pagmamahal. Alam ko alam nya na mahal ko sya, but we both chose not to get it to a higher notch. Madami din kasi ako talagang issues na hindi pa naayos sa sarili ko. Kaya talangang hindi na magwowork out pah.

Basta dapat pag mahal ka, at mahal mo din. Alagaan mo para hindi magexpire yung pagmamahal nyo sa isa't isa. Ang love parang apoy kung hindi mo to lalagyan ng panggatong hindi ito magniningas ng malaki at mainit. Diba ganun ang pagmamahalan? Dapat laging mainit.

It's already been a month since the controversial airing of the pilot of my new addiction, My Husband's Lover. It's also been weeks after the CBCP gave a "reminder" about the show's sensitive theme. Only to be, sorry there is no word for it, masupalpal with GMA's statement about the show.

“GMA Network welcomes the scrutiny of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) of our primetime program ‘My Husband’s Lover’. We believe that our program while tackling sensitive real-life situations is produced with utmost prudence and in good taste. The Movie and Television Review and Classification Board or MTRCB has given the program an SPG (Strong Parental Guidance) rating and GMA is committed to comply with all its standards.

We would like to thank all the viewers of ‘My Husband’s Lover’ for supporting our program not just by watching it but via intelligent discussions and comments in all forms of media. The Kapuso Network is pleased with the high ratings that ‘My Husband’s Lover’ has achieved in its first two weeks and would like to assure the Filipino audience that we will continue to produce relevant and entertaining programs.” - GMA Network

I think this is just a battle Open-minded people vs close-minded people. I really don't get what their concern is with the show. There always this concern about the youth with the likes of CBCP. Honestly, I really don't know why they are concerned. Here's my comment to this guy. He commented in Jessica Zafra's article in Interaksyon.com and he, just like the CBCP, is concerned about the youth having Gender Confusion. I was trying to comment but kept receiving error messages. So here is my reply to him.

Let's chop it too.

1st issue: Taga Tondo ako so I guess kahit hindi ko personally nakita yung mga taga-riles sa Blumentritt at eskinita sa QC, I have credibility to say I know this people with "given socio economic status". Question. Pag mahirap, bobo agad? this is what "given their socio economic status" implies right? These people are parents too. You don't need a college diploma to explain to your kids what the show is trying to impart. Also, the rating SPG does not mean your kids can't watch it and the parents should turn of the TV when it is rated SPG. STRIKTONG PATNUBAY NG MAGULANG means the parents should be their with the kids while their watching it so as to avoid confusion and the parents can explain the matter to them at real time. Let the parents do their job as parents, at least give them that chance.

2nd issue: We have confusion. Then realization. Then conclusion. That's how people learn. Try remembering your first math class. Nuff said.

3rd issue: Let the kids decide if they want to watch it. Then stick to the SPG rating with the parents watching it with them. Matalino pala ang mga bata ngayon eh. Let them use their brains and think about the show's message. She's right you know. We start as gay kids and grow up as gay men. Gay Professional Men who contribute well to the society. Also, hindi ka magiging bakla pag nanuod ka ng My Husband's Lover. Bakit magkakaron ng confusion ang mga bata just from watching the show? Baka naman what your trying to say is baka makarelate sila? Di kaya?

I will iterate...

HINDI NAKAKABAKLA PANUORIN ANG MY HUSBAND'S LOVER

The show is a reflection of what is happening to the society. The show depicts real life that everything is believable. Also, in terms of execution, tt is the prime example that you don't need flesh exposure or kissing scenes between two males to make the show appealing to the gay milieu. The simple scenes that we can relate to and the kilig moments are enough to keep us hooked.

That is why I don't see anything wrong with the show. It is done in good taste and well applies to the masses curious buds.