Once upon a Dyosa: TYK 2nd floor Restroom

I clearly remember this awkward moment (well... for me at least...) during the Thomasian Welcome Walk 2009...

The event, which was spearheaded by the UST Central Student Council, came to an end in smashing success. It was a very tiring day for the officers and the staff having to endure a planning session in the morning, then do each of our assigned duties for the event that started early afternoon and lasted early evening. Committee heads like yours truly have dual assignments, as I am the head of the First Aid Booth as well as a runner for one of the OSA (Office for Student Affairs) staff.

I came back to the office to get a whiff of cold air to freshen up. All the running plus the hot temperature of the afternoon opened up all the sweat glands in my body. Not to mention, uber tired for the same reasons.

I sat down on our desk (actually, the Office of the Auditor's desk) with a big thud. The aircon doing its job of relieving the hot stresses of the day's event. After getting comfy for a bit, I decided to go the restroom to wash up the grime even for just the face and arms.

During our time, the 2nd floor restroom of the Tan Yan Kee Student Center is for the exclusive use of the OSA Staff, VIPs, and the Student Leaders whose offices are located on the floor which are CSC and SOCC. CSC 08-09 provided a special keyholder for the key the restroom which was inherited by CSC 09-10. The restroom key was inside a key ring that is attached to a big wooden key figure.

I took the ginormous key of comfort and proceeded to the restroom. Cloud nine feelings of contentment envelop me as the cool water slowly cleanses my skin. I bought a facial cleanser for the sole purpose of washing up after the end of the day. I learned this lesson during the last CSC event that clean up is a must after every event and bring your own cleaning agents. I generously used both the cleanser and the cool water to satisfy my end of event wash up routine.

When I came back to the office, a handful of staff and officers were already there. Everyone cheered congratulations to each other for a very successful event. Of course, though there is an air of happiness, it is tainted by the desire to freshen up from the tiring activity. We found leftover shirts from last year's Paskuhan. After getting consent from the officers to use it, I took one that is my size and returned to the restroom to change.

Of course since I'm a Dyosa, I went straight to the cubicle to change upon entering the rest room. Two other male staff came in the restroom while I was changing. It didn't took a light year for me to change so I got out of the cubicle fast. They were having a conversation while I came out. I smiled at them went straight to lavatory and fixed my hair with the water. When I looked in the mirror...

there it was... A slow mo awkward moment...

The two male staff slowly (well in my mind since its a slow mo moment) lifted their shirts to their heads. Revealing their boyish non toned slim physiques. During this time, my faux jaw that is invisible to others dropped to the floor of course in slow mo fashion as well. They revealed a smile after removing their shirts and continued their conversation while I just stood their in silence trying not to freak out while in between two half naked guys. Both of them are not really gwapo, but one is really appealing sexually, while the other one has really a charming smile.

One of them asked me if I had a soap, I pointed to the available hand soap, trying to act cool amidst the confusion with the situation. After tossing my hair just a bit more, I decided to leave, but not before I had a final look at the fine reward that was given to me for a job well done.

Haha!

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abrupt

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I was browsing through the blogosphere when I accidentally stumbled upon Junakis's blog. I read through his writings and I must say I love it! But what most hit me his is short story entitled, "Noted, Love"

What really hit me is the story itself. But before that I would like to thank Darwin Taylo for sharing his gift of writing to the world. Really. So good.

Anyhoo, as I mentioned, what really hit me is the story itself. Probably because it hit a mark on a certain memory that as much as I want to forget, is one of the reason why I stand tall.

Like the story, I once had a "relationship", quote unquote, that ended abruptly. It has that same element of everything feeling right and falling into place then in just a snap, everything is swallowed into the void with no explanations whatsoever.

Anyway, I won't be putting much detail into that since you can read all about in the the Angel of Torment section of my blog.

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Ilayo mo kami sa apoy ng impyerno

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Dahil kagabi walang internet, napagdesisyunan kong basahin nalang yung binili kong komiks last weekend. At hindi ako nadisappoint!

My gosh! Magkakasundo kami ng author neto pag makita kami! I think he has a very clear picture of the conversations that I want to talk about with my future husband! *Chows!*

The komiks is really witty and filled with philosophical questions about life. Actually... it inspired me to write a piece. So watch out for that!

Looking forward in buying the other comic complilation of KikoMachine! Highly recommended for High IQ people! Sa mga in the lower strata of the quotient, Pupung nalang kayo... Baka kasi hindi kayo matawa eh. whahahhah!

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Yêu Em

My most favorit VPop Artist is Cuong 7. Here is his new video that translate to "Love you"


Yêu Em
by Cuong 7
Vietnamese Lyrics:
Từng ngày trôi qua, tìm kiếm nơi cảm xúc ta vô tình này người vào mơ bao lâu và chìm trong miên man nghĩ về những yêu thương ta chôn vùi sâu,từ bao đêm say .

Và để rồi một lần nữa tìm được em sau bao tháng ngày người con gái khiến anh chìm vào những ngất ngây.

Và lại một lần nữa trái tim anh này lại được lắp đầy về một khao khát luôn có em trong vòng tay.

Một lần thôi em nhé đến trái tim được nghe những yêu thương anh luôn dành tặng riêng cho người.

Và tình yêu anh sẽ giúp xóa đi cơn mê trong lòng anh bấy lâu.

Hãy cho anh được yêu em, yêu em, yêu em từ con tim này được lên tiếng khi em kề bên. Hãy cho anh được yêu em, yêu em, yêu em từ giấc mơ được gọi tên anh mỗi đêm.

Một lần thôi em nhé đến trái tim được nghe những yêu thương anh luôn dành tặng riêng cho người.

Và tình yêu anh sẽ giúp xóa đi cơn mê trong lòng anh bấy lâu.

Kể từ ngày em đi để từng cuối chân trời nơi những vì sao kia đang từng vui lung linh và tràn ngập trong suy nghĩ về em.

Người con gái trong mơ anh bao đêm kiếm tìm để rồi từng ngày nhung nhớ người tình yêu trong khúc hát này người làm anh chìm đắm trong mê say.

Và lại một lần nữa trái tim anh này lại được lắp đầy về một khao khát luôn có em trong vòng tay.

Một lần thôi em nhé đến trái tim được nghe những yêu thương anh luôn dành tặng riêng cho người.

Và tình yêu anh sẽ giúp xóa đi cơn mê trong lòng anh bấy lâu.

Hãy cho anh được yêu em, yêu em, yêu em từ con tim này được lên tiếng khi em kề bên.

Hãy cho anh được yêu em, yêu em, yêu em từ giấc mơ được gọi tên anh mỗi đêm.

Anh dằn vặt đôi cơn bão, luôn đôi cả đại dương xanh ước ao gạt bóng đêm giữ luôn định luật khoảng cách cho dù là bất cứ khi nào, bất cứ nơi nào không thể ai ngăn cách được em và anh nắng ấm sẽ tìm tới bên em baby girl đừng lo lắng anh sẽ lại vẽ bầu trời đầy nắng vì em là viên kim cương quý giá anh đi tìm khắp bố phương và chỉ có em anh thức được trái tim đã ngủ quên ở thiên đường.

Một lần thôi em nhé đến trái tim được nghe những yêu thương anh luôn dành tặng riêng cho người.

Và tình yêu anh sẽ giúp xóa đi cơn mê trong lòng anh bấy lâu.

Hãy cho anh được yêu em, yêu em, yêu em từ con tim này được lên tiếng khi em kề bên.
Hãy cho anh được yêu em, yêu em, yêu em từ giấc mơ được gọi tên anh mỗi đêm.

Một lần thôi em nhé đến trái tim được nghe những yêu thương anh luôn dành tặng riêng cho người.

Và tình yêu anh sẽ giúp xóa đi cơn mê trong lòng anh bấy lâu.Hãy cho anh được yêu.
English Lyrics (Translated using Google Translate)
Each passing day , we search where emotion this accidentally in the long dream and sunk in thought endlessly about my love buried deep , from which night drunk .

And so then find them again after so many months of the date a girl made ​​him sink into ecstasy .

And once again my heart this is about a longing fills you in my arms always .

Okay once you hear the heart to love him always dedicated for people .

And he would love to remove the coma in his heart for so long .

Let's give him the love you , love you , love you from my heart was when I spoke adjacent . Let's give him the love you , love you , love you from the dream his name every night .

Okay once you hear the heart to love him always dedicated for people .

And he would love to remove the coma in his heart for so long .

Since the end of each day I go to where the horizon is the starlight shimmer ever happy and overwhelmed thinking about you .

The girl in his dream which seeks night and day by day but thanks to the love of singing this song make you immersed in the fascination .

And once again my heart this is about a longing fills you in my arms always .

Okay once you hear the heart to love him always dedicated for people .

And he would love to remove the coma in his heart for so long .

Let's give him the love you , love you , love you from my heart was when I spoke adjacent .

Let's give him the love you , love you , love you from the dream his name every night .

He sometimes tormenting storm , always double blue oceans desire to keep the darkness always deceive law whether the distance anytime , anywhere who can not be separated from me and you will find the warm sunshine baby girl by your side do not worry he will re- draw the sunny skies because they are precious diamonds you go looking around and just have my dad the way he fell asleep hearts in heaven .

Okay once you hear the heart to love him always dedicated for people .

And he would love to remove the coma in his heart for so long .

Let's give him the love you , love you , love you from my heart was when I spoke adjacent .
Let's give him the love you , love you , love you from the dream his name every night .

Okay once you hear the heart to love him always dedicated for people .

And he would love to remove the coma in his heart for his beloved lau.Hay then.


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Memories about an Angel

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I awoke with Bituin Escalante's voice singing in my ear. Her signature one-hit-wonder song, Kung Ako Nalang Sana, is part of the playlist in my cellphone. I was there at the right side of the bus facing the TV, perfectly comfortable with my 50-degree inclined back rest. My purple hoodie jacket protected me from the cold whiff of the aircon.The bus just passed by Mayon when I came to. Robin Padilla's daughter: on screen. We were nearing Blumentritt so I gave out a yawn then fixed my things. A quick turn by our driver at the corner and we were in the middle of the traffic in front of Chinese General Hospital's facade. Uninterested with the show in the TV, I nonchalantly turned to my right. I was perpendicular to the Emergency driveway of the hospital. It was then that images of my past appeared in front of me.

I was sitting on the caged veranda. He brought food for his sister-in-law and some supplies for his sick mother. I accompanied him that morning in the hospital because his mother was rushed there. He just got back from their Faculty retreat when he heard the news. I got a hold of him the morning after he arrived. I can tell the anxiousness of his texts that's why I offered to come with him.

After introducing me to his mother, I quietly sat down the veranda. I gave them space so they can properly talk since I know that he was very worried. That was the scenario until his sister-in-law came back.

I received a text from my friends asking where I am. They were then assembled at a place, I was instructed to join them. I replied with the situation and was asked to follow after my affair.

He approached me with a smile. His angelic face beaming. His anxious face now gone. He sat beside me and we began talking. I can't exactly remember the minute details of that conversation, but I am quite sure it was about our dreams. We were both teachers. He as a profession; Myself, at heart. We were conversing about how fulfilled we are to be teachers.

A light drizzle showered outside. Despite the cool wind that accompanied the tiny droplets, my heart was warm because I was with him. We were both happy talking. We could talk and talk forever. But eventually I had to leave. His sister-in-law will go home and he will be the one to replace her to take care of his mom. I happily obliged to go home since it is after all a family affair.

He thanked me for the company and walked me toward the exit of the hospital."


How long has it been? From what I can remember year 0 was the year that Harry Potter 7.2 was shown in cinemas. It was the year I forced myself to stand up again. The year I picked up the pieces of myself from the depths of depression. I won't fool myself and say that I already fully moved on. I can say there is always a part of me that is still broken. There are so many unanswered questions that only he can answer.

That broken part of me is only a tiny portion of my heart. I will keep moving on, until the day I finally be able to resolve the broken portion.

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Sentai Cutie: Yasuhiro Ishiwata

Nanunuood aketch ng Maskman nang biglang tumunog ang tugtog ng isang plawta...

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Isang lalaking nakashades mula malayo ang naglalakad papalapit...

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Sa kanya nagmumula ang tugtog ng plawta...

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patuloy sya sa pag tugtog at tinggal nya ang shades nya...

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SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!! Ang CUTE!!!!

Alam ko na sa simula palang kung sino sya... kaya nung dumating na ang climax...

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Eto ang tunay na katauhan nya...

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Sya ang Human form ni Guron Doggler...



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Pero gosh!!! Grabeh sa cute netong guest star ng Maskman ah! His name is Yasuhiro Ishiwata, nung nakita ko pa lang sya sa first scene na naclose up yung face nya, crush ko na sya!!! Wahahaahhah!

Sa episode na ito ng Maskman, nain-love si Gron Doggler sa isang babae na nagligtas sa kanya centuries ago. Nakipag deal sya kay Emperor Zeba na tatalunin nya ang mga Maskmen kung bibigyan nya sya ng kakayahan magkaron ng human body. Nang sumalakay na ang pwerse ng Underground Tube, nagbago ng ihip ng hangin nang masilayan ni Gron Doggler si Momoko (aka Pink Mask). Kamukhang kamukha kasi ni Momoko yung babaeng nagligtas kay Gron Doggler dati. At nagsimula na ang maikling love story ni Hikaru (human name ni Gron Doggler) at Momoko.

Inferness ha! Di ko inexpect na madaming flavors of scorned love ang Maskman ah! Akala ko kina Michael Joe at Rio lang ang dramang yun...

Anyhoo...

I did some research kay Cutie guest star... Apparently, member sya nung last installment ng sentai series prior to Maskman, ang Flashman. Sya si Blue Flash.
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Nagguest star din sya with Kanako Maeda (yung gumanap na Momoko) sa Jetman, at magkapartner sila ulet! Lovers on screen ang peg nila! whahhaha!

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Oh yeah!

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Sexual Orientation

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"Sexual orientation is not determined by one's behavior. Sexual orientation is determined by one's desires."

I read that line somewhere in this vast universe called cyberspace. Whoever you are, I take my hat off to you. It is by far the most powerful statement that I have read about homosexuality.

People behave differently depending on their beliefs. Most of the closetted gays (or at least they try to be) I know tell me that they will change their ways. They will stop it the "transformation" from progressing as if they will clad sailor uniforms with elemental powers once its complete. The sad thing about their stop-the-metamorphosis litany is because they believe they will go to Hell is they don't change their ways or they are afraid they will be alone in the future.

haaaaay... Same old same old.

The thing is with my closetted friends is that they tend to worry about other people's point of view rather than their own; Also, worrying about a very negative future. I am not the most religious person around but one thing I learned from being a student of Catholic schools for 9 years, the central theme of the Holy Book is Love. Literal interpretation of what's written there is dangerous. Especially since those times of slavery and conquerors are long gone. Therefore, the norms and cultures are different from then and now. I can cite multiple things stated in the Bible that are now obsolete. But I will leave it to other articles in the blogosphere. Do your assignment and check those out. Also, though this is just my personal point of view, in the olden times, the males are easily regarded as the more superior gender. Hence, the Bible is written in this very masculine-centric viewpoint. Sodomy, i.e. Barebacking, is a form of punishment then because it lowers the level of those being sodomized as the aggressive inserter of the phallus to the helpless receiver of the phallus and they become a plaything just like how they view women those days. Now, doing a homosexual act among males is looked down upon because of the fact that it is now consensual. One male is willing to go down a notch down so that he can give pleasure to his lover. Isn't this sacrifice? Isn't this an expression of love. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that homosexual love is strictly about sex. But hell, that's what the Bible explicitly denounces. A man sharing a bed with another man just like he does his wife. Not a man loving another man.

Moving on, I just get frustrated when they tell me that the only future for gay men is a picture of loneliness. I beg to disagree. What is your basis for saying that I will grow up lonely? Sorry! Is your cheating husband and your dumb kids your picture of a happy life? Vocabulary lesson, the word gay means happy. Since the Filipinos have close-knit family ties, everyone is expected to turn out good. And when I they say good it means finish school, get a job, have kids and the cycle will go on. And that's their equation of happiness. If they continue this cycle, they will be happy. Well not for me.

I think the reason why my closetted friends believe the shit that they will be alone in the future because of the notion that no one will truly love a gay man. That's so two thousand late. We are in the day and age that gay men love other gay men. The idea that gay men will only love straight men is so out. Plus with the proliferation of Bisexuals... OHHOOOOH YEAH!!! *pun intended*

My advice to my friends, go ahead. Try it. Change your ways. Even if you totally remove the rainbow connection from your system, yet what you desire is love from other men. Well... You know what you really are; Best of luck on escaping your true self.

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Illumination

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One thing I know for certain, I need to have a reason for doing things for me to be more determined and passionate of doing it. That's the only way that I can be most productive and most passionate in my work. Finally, after a long time of working blind in the dark, I finally found my illumination.

It never really occurred to me until recently. Probably because I kept focusing on the stresses in my work and disregarding all the small positive things around me. But after I started really taking a portion of my work item seriously, it was then that I was able to see this very positive light.

Yep. He is now my reason to work hard. I will not sit idly by while he faces his challenges alone. I will be his secretary. I will throw in double the effort so everything will work out fine. I will do my best to convince him to stay.

I'm so surprised that what my ka-wavelengths said before came true. But then, I guess, they really know me more in that aspect. Wahahahahahaha!!!

For the first time, I can say I'm happy despite the stresses. Yep and it's all about that illumination.

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Counting the days

It's already October. On the 16th of this month, I will be just a month away before my 1st year anniversary with my current employer. I will then need to decide if I want to stay with the company or not. I have 1 year to think about it come my 1st year anniversary.

I can say my work is perfect for me. Just like what my good friend, Albert, told me. My skill set fits the mold of the position I have right now. Even the so called "special projects" are well suited in my skills repertoire. But despite the almost tailored carcass that is my designation, the amount of stress level and work ethic really gets to me.

I guess teamwork is not a common practice in our office. Everything is just on assignment. Everyone is assigned a specific task and they will revolve around that task without a care for others. But then again, maybe because it was simply a consensus between the members of our section. Since we have no real authoritative figure within our office, we were contented with the set-up. Even though, we were given this authoritative figure a few months ago, we were adamant with the status quo since it was system that was really working out for us.

I guess I just miss the thrill of having a team. Although everyone has their own role to play, everything comes together because we help each other. No one is left to do their own work because there will always be someone who will be willing to help them. Someone is in charge while doing the same work with the others. This was the case of CSC '08-'09, the year when student-leadership was the most fulfilling. The spirit of camaraderie and teamwork really goes beyond political affiliation.

Then we have the indefensible stress, that comes out from whimsical decisions rather than logical reasons. Just to give a pop culture reference to this, it's just like what Heidi Klum says, "One day your in and the next day your out". That's how erratic decisions in our section are. One day this is it, and the next day it will be this. I understand that there will always be stress at work, but I am defining this indefensible stress because it is just additional burden that should not have been there but exists because of erratic decisions. One such example is the one in my previous post. I was assigned to spearhead a project that I have no prior experience in organizing. It will be the end of me. I tell you. THE. END. OF. ME.

And finally we have the bossy co-workers. I will turn a blind eye if the person is a tier above me, but we are in positions of the same level. Seniority does not excuse someone to behave with proper etiquette and good manners. Saying Please and Thank you would be enough, also a proper tone of voice when asking for a favor.

I recently had a chat with a former officemate; she's been blooming ever since she got out of the hell hole called our office. And we have the same brain wavelength to conclude that "You can never understand how stressful it is in that office unless you're in it." Good for her and I'm happy for her.

Well, I can rant all I want but then again, the job is not half bad. Though I guess I lack the training required to do some of the requirements of my job. That's why they can never utilize my full potential without these trainings. I took the job because I thought I will be fulfilled. Not the lucrative pay nor the fame of working in that particular industry. Once my fulfillment cannot offset the poor work ethics or I hit my boiling point due to stress...

I'M DONE...

But that's a year from now.

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One Man Team

I was known as the One Man Team when I was still a student leader in my tertiary Alma Mater. When I was a 4th year Chemical Engineering Student, I retained my position as the Legal Officer of our neophyte political party, SIKLAB. I was also appointed the Project Director of Thomasian Project 4, under the then Cachero CSC Administration. I was the sole member of the SIKLAB Legal Team, since we were a neophyte party, and the Thomasian Project 4, since the other member, my superior, graduated in the last school year.

I guess I did good in those two positions since I retained them the following school year. But it was mainly due to the fact that I was left to explore the positions that I held. SIKLAB was just in its sophomore year, I was free to define what kind of person should the SIKLAB Legal Officer be. I was free to create a system of documentation that future SIKLAB Legal Officers can use. While for TP4, I was part of its pilot phase and my opinions were held with high regard because I was the longest to be affiliated with the project.

Unlike what is happening now...

I was assigned to a program that I know nothing of except that it's like a showcase of technical projects. Even worse, I was the one the helm the realization of the program this year. Oooooh BOY!!!

During the initial planning, I heard this particular remark that made me realize that I am will be a One Man Team once more: "Estimate mo kung ilan kelangan mong mga...". Pertaining to the materials that I will need for the program. I knew right then that I will be in this alone. There was no hint of I'll help you in that remark. But there can never be more horrifying experience with this program than learning that I have no budget. Worse, I was accused that I will not do the program because there was no money. FUCK!

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! To tell you the truth, I was very frustrated that I was given to helm this program. Not only that the needed spirit or mindset has not even inculcated in me, I have no prior experience with the program whatsoever. It was okay if I was the first time that the program will be organized. I can simply explore the possibilities just like what I did back in college. But since the program was existing for years now, there was a sense of expectation from all that are familiar with it. You must do this and that because that was done before. I was so stressed thinking about what will happen with the program that I fell ill many times in the past months. The program is important they said, the program is used for appraisal they said. IF IT IS SO DAMN IMPORTANT WHY IS THE BUDGET FOR IT BEEN CUT?!

After a few sleepless nights, I finally found the resolve to really spearhead the program. I have no prior experience with it so I have no choice but to simply own it. I will OWN it since I AM the one in charge! I got my netbook and started creating designs for new logos. I made logos to symbolize that the program is getting a facelift. So far, the feedback has been positive.

I find it funny that they wanted me to do a Workshop even though I haven't even had that workshop yet. When I asked for the objective, it was to get ideas for future projects. Then ultimately, it was late since there was a prerequisite period of implementation before projects were eligible for the program. So anything that they can come up can only be passed next year. I was stubborn not to conduct anymore workshops. It was simply just a waste of time.

I will give it all I got until it exhaust me. I will never forget the grade I got during my regularization.

I AM A ONE MAN TEAM...

I will all show you who I really am.

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