I dedicate this post to my self.

I.
Crack!
Little hisses
creating lines in turtle speed
showing jagged reflections

One more second
this high velocity bullet
will pummel through
destroying this delicate membrane

Crash!
Once more
this mirror has been shattered
pieces above ground

II.
My shoulders sagged
As if 1000 Tera Newtons
delivered its force to it
a big burden

My smile vanished
evaporated even
my facial muscles moved
forming what they called a frown

My mind rippled
like a single drop
on still water
entropy exploded

III.
My eyes blinded
filled with ghostly tears
blown away by that wind
cold cold wind unfelt by others

I felt like I was dying
slowly... siphoning my strength
Stabbed once with shear force
that eradicated my totality

I melded in the shadows
dare not let my face show
in this complete darkness
I shall water the earth.

Etong poem nato clearly describes what I felt yesterday. I: when I heard the news; II: when I was walking home; III: while on my bed with the moonlight on my face.



Alam na ni Kuya Cachi. Alam na nyang active member ako ng SIKLAB, which in turn implies na AKLAS ako. AKLAS is the prime opposition party of LAKAS coalition, of which all of the Central Council officers and staffs are from. OK naman daw sa kanya, he said that very casually as if it didn't matter. Siguro sa kanya, sa akin... OO!

Tatlong tao lang ang pinagsabihan ko tungkol sa affiliation ko with SIKLAB: Si Mon, si Jarry, at si Onyong. At napakasaket kasi kung sino pa yung pinakapinagkakatiwalaan ko sa kanilang tatlo siya pa yung nagsabi kay Kuya Cachi. Si Jarry...

Alam ko namang loyal sya sa LAKAS. Sinabi ko din yun sa dati kong post. Walang kasalanan si Jarry dahil kasalanan ko lahat ng ito. Kasalanan ko dahil umasa din ako na hindi nya sasabihin kahit kanino. Kasalanan ko kasi nag-ilusyon ako na in the future kung malalaman na ng Executive Board ang affiliation ko, si Jarry ang unang magtatanggol sa akin. Ilusyonada! Che! Pero kahit paulit-ulit na ididildil ng utak ko na ako ang may kasalanan hindi pa din tumitigil ang mga mata ko sa pagluha. I just can't stop crying. I just can't.

Hindi ko alam kung pano ako babalik sa Council. Normal lang ba, o babalik ako sa katulad dati na mailap? Gustong gusto kong itanong kay Kuya Cachi kung kailan pa sinabi sa kanya ni Jarry, at kung pano sinabi ni Jarry. Pinagtanggol nya ba ako? O talagang ok lang kay Kuya Cachi? Gusto kong malaman! Pero kahit malaman ko pa. Sinabi na rin nya. Wala na ring kwenta. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!! :'(

Once a mirror has been shattered, even if you make it whole again, still the cracks remain. - Wilberchie