For all the heartaches that I had endured this passed week, I should be singing this song to him.



This song really encompasses what I should be feeling right now. The lyrics are right on target. Especially the chorus:

Bakit ikaw pa ang napili
Ngayon ang puso ko ay sawi
Kay simple lang ng aking hiling
Na madama mo rin ang pait at pighati

Sana’y magmilagro
Mabalik ko
Mali ay maiderecho
Pinagdarasal ko sa’king puso
Na mabura na sa isip ko

But this isn't really what I'm feeling. Like I said, I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. Somehow I am at fault at some point. Maybe my constant texting of him drove him angry to some extent. Nakulitan ba. Well, I was in the illusion that he loves me so you cannot really blame me. That's how I love. And now, that my angel has flown away. The only thing that I need to do is take care of myself.

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the duality of his nature as a person is greatly represented by this picture


So instead of pointing fingers I would like to shout a message of hope for myself. And this song depicts the true essence of what I am feeling.



When I am playing this song, I always sing along with the Bridge!

So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!

But reality check, I have already decided on the deadline for him to talk to me. If after that special day, he still hasn't forgiven me. I'll move on with my life. This is the last chance that I will give him. As his favorite author wrote:

"Bakit ka magpaparamdam sa taong hindi marunong makaramdam? Wag kang magpakatanga, sa taong hindi marunong magpahalaga. Matuto kang sumuko at mang-iwan, kung lagi ka namang sinasaktan.
Imbis na magtanong ka ng "Hindi pa ba sapat?" Bakit hindi mo na lang kalimutan ang lahat? Kung alam mong binabalewala ka na, tanggapin mong nagsasawa na sya.Wag kang magpadala sa salitang "sorry" at "ayokong mawala ka" kung totoo yun,patunayan nya."
-Bob Ong

I'll forget him, I'll forget everything. I'm sure I'll have the courage then to erase all his pictures in my cellphone. But for now, I'm still hoping for the best. And if that doesn't happen, I'll still be happy. At the very least, I didn't give up on him that easily.

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