"I love him, but I can't keep on loving him", parang script sa isang pelikula, o kaya linya sa isang nobela; Pero yang linyang yan ang syang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Kaya kong isuko ang lahat, mahalin lang nya din ako. Pero hindi mangyayari yon, not now, not EVER!

I'm just being realistic. Being optimistic in the topic of love is totally nonsense. There can never be a happy one-faced love. There will always be trials, challenges and heartaches along with it. I cannot day that this is true love, as the norm suggests, a male to male relation is ABnormal. But for us who are in need of it, it is called happiness.

Hindi ko sya pwedeng mahalin. Unang una, straight sya. Pangalawa, may mahal na sya. At ang huli at pinakaimportante, kaibigan ko sya. Nawala na yung dating pagnanasang inuukol ko sa kanya. Dahil talagang mabait syang tao, hindi ko maiwasan madala sa damdamin ko. Inisip ko nung una na ganun nga, pero habang tumatagal, nararamdaman kong lalong lumalalim ang paghanga ko sa kanya.

Tao lang din sya, marami din syang kapintasan. But despite the fact that he has many flaws, I learned to love him as a whole. I love his smile, I love his voice, I love the way he takes care of me, I love his stubborness, I love his mature thinking, I love it all! But I must put a line. Cause nothing is worth to be lost to such foolish love.

Although, he gives me special care, I always feel this inadequate feeling. Although, I'm used to it; Still, I can't erase that feeling because I'm still a gay. Bading, Jokla, Faggot, Bektas. Hinding hindi ko pa din un mabubura, sa isipan nya at sa isipan ng ibang tao. Hanggang dun nalang talaga ang kaya nyang ibigay para sa akin. Nagpapasalamat naman ako para dun pero syempre that sinking feeling of inadequacy really gives me pain.

Wala lang, nagdrama lang ako. Para naman mailabas ko yung nasasaloob ko. Nahihirapan nako, wala kasi akong makausap.