“Calculus is like bringing a hooker back to your hotel room, only to find out that the hooker is a guy with felony convictions, but the guy won't leave without you paying, so you figure you might as well make use of his services... and then he rapes you and steals all your money and leaves you blindfolded and handcuffed to a radiator which is blowing steam in your face.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Calculus 0


Warning: Alcohol and Calculus do not mix. Don't drink and derive.

too bad you don't derive you differentiate... Calculus is the worst thing ever created by man or beast. Invented sometime in the 18th century, it represents a culmination of hatred toward high school students. There are ten types of Calculus so far: Pre Calculus, Boring Calculus, Hard Calculus, Really Hard Calculus, Weird calculus, Hand Waving Calculus, PowerCalculus (which is obtained only after drinking Powerthirst in RAWberry form) and Really Hard, Really Boring, Weird-as-Fuck Calculus, the deadliest of all the calculi, followed by God of Math.

Before the invention of algebra, calculus consisted of coloring in the area below the line, or measuring the slope of the line, or making lines... oh hell, I don't know what it consisted of before Algebra. Although your parents say they took Calculus before you did and didn't whine about it, it was entirely Pre-Algebra Calculus. Just ask for help with your homework, you'll see. What I'm trying to say is that your parents are retards (no offense). The original use of calculus (which is still used today by some), was to test students for the capability of practicing ritualistic Satan worship: By forcing students to stay up for hours unended, and show no signs of lack of sleep, and also "think outside the box", it was possible to find those who would be able to take part in night-long Satanic rituals. Calculus is still used today in this fashion by sadistic teachers who hope that you fail anyway. Gawd! I HATE CALCULUS!


The passage above is an excerpt from an article from
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Calculus

As much as I want to hate the subject, I'm an Engineering student. So I have to love it whether I like it or not. Read the rest of the entry.